The Dynasty Aftermath: The Time My Cousin Got His Head Caught in the Railing of a Bowling Alley
Welcome to DLF’s Dynasty Aftermath. This staple article is our longest running signature piece as we have a little fun after a tough week at the Dynasty League Football office. You’ll find this article will review the week’s happenings in a variety of ways and help set you up for the coming weeks as we spin around the league in the way we know best. Expect it each and every week.
I’ve written this column for over fifteen years and I really do enjoy it. I love combing through the stats of the week, putting together ridiculous lineups, picking MVPs/LVPs and discussing things to worry about.
That’s not all.
I also really love sharing little bits of my life with the community of DLF and picking a theme for this column each week. You really never know what you’re going to get. In fact, I’ll reserve the right to change my theme ideas if something cool happens like my friend peeing their pants at the Goodwill. If you missed one this year, click below:
Week One: The time I ordered The Peloton
Week Two: The time I went Vegan
Week Three: The time I went snowboarding without a Sherpa
Week Four: The time I found my Lack of Mystical Kung-Fu Powers
Week Five: The time my Mom thought she was going to prison for Bootlegging
Week Six: The time my Cousin’s friend turned into Lee Harvey Oswald
Week Seven: The Time I turned into Ben Matlock in Juvenile Court
Week Eight: Election Day
Week Nine: A Tribute to Alex Trebek
In my Jeopardy! post last week, I mentioned my Cousin Rex, who was a huge fan of the show. As I was searching for a theme this week, I started thinking back to my childhood and some things that happened. Then I got it – the bowling alley incident with Rex.
When we were all young, our Moms would go to the Hilander Bowl on league night. Us kids would go into the play area and hang out, mostly unsupervised because people weren’t afraid of kidnappings back then. One night, we were walking around the bowling alley, looking up at the scores (they did them manually by pencil back then) and just doing things kids do like play arcade games and search for quarters.
To this day, I don’t know how it really happened, but Rex decided it would be a good idea to stick his head through the iron railing on the stairs and scare people when they walked by him. He frightened a couple of people, then decided his fun was over. He moved his head back and realized it was stuck inside the iron railing. This was in the early 80s, so this iron wasn’t something that could bend – it was likely made out of asbestos, old WWII war vehicle armor and lead based paint. And he was stuck like Ralphie’s tongue on a flagpole.
We were all laughing and having a good time until Rex realized this was kind of serious. He worked his head back and forth and couldn’t get it back through. The tears started to flow and most of the bowlers had stopped and crowded around him, mostly due to morbid curiousity. Few had good ideas on what to do and Rex was really started to freak out. It was time for 9-1-1.
The fire truck arrived and we all pictured the jaws of life coming out. Instead, Rex endured the most embarrassing moment of his life – the firefighters were afraid of tearing his ear off, so they lathered his head with Crisco from the bowling alley restaurant and started working it back and forth. Eventually, Rex was freed and there was blood and tears everywhere. We look back and think about him likely thinking he was going to live with that railing on his head. It was going to make life tough for him whenever he wanted to drive, take a shower or go through any doorway. Lucky for us, it never had to happen, but we still laugh about it every day when we see Crisco or when Rex claims he’s smarter than any of us. It always the same repsonse – at least we never got our head stuck at a bowling alley.
So, what does this have to do with this week in fantasy football? Picture Nick Chubb breaking that long run on his way to paydirt. The face your making is just like Rex as he slides his head through the railing, thinking it’s so much fun. When Chubb gives himself up at the one, picture Rex’s face as he tries to wiggle back out – this is what the range of emotions felt like.
If you lost a close one because of this and the end result was a pool of blood and tears on your floor, Rex and I don’t blame you.
Let’s get to it.
Week Ten Fantasy MVP
This one is going to be a little out there. I’m going with Cole Beasley this week, who posted 11 catches for 109 yards and a touchdown. There’s been a ton of talk about the addition of Stefon Diggs this year, but Beasley has posted double digit fantasy points in seven of ten games this season and has emerged as a viable starter as well. In fact, he was the WR1 this week, which seems incredible.
Week Ten Fantasy LVP
DK Metcalf is closing in on being the overall dynasty WR1, but this week was awful. With just two catches for 28 yards, he was a massive disappointment as the Seahawks are suddenly turning the ball over and Metcalf was only targeted four times as Jalen Ramsey slowed him down. This is a blip on the radar for Metcalf, but one that hurt nonetheless.
The Unbeatable Lineup of the Week
QB Tom Brady TB = 341 passing yards, four total touchdowns
RB Alvin Kamara NO = 15 rushing yards, four catches, 24 receiving yards, three touchdowns
RB Josh Jacobs LV = 112 rushing yards, four catches, 24 receiving yards, two touchdowns
RB D’Andre Swift DET = 81 rushing yards, five catches, 68 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Cole Beasley BUF = 11 catches, 109 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR DeAndre Hopkins ARI = Seven catches, 127 receiving yards, one touchdown (kind of a big one)
WR Marquez Valdes-Scantling GB = Four catches, 149 receiving yards, one touchdown
TE Mark Andrews BAL = Seven catches, 61 receiving yards
The Underdog Lineup of the Week
QB Ben Roethlisberger PIT= 333 passing yards, four touchdowns
RB Nyheim Hines IND = 70 rushing yards, five catches, 45 receiving yards, two touchdowns
RB Ronald Jones TB = 192 rushing yards, one touchdown
RB Rex Burkhead NEÂ = 31 rushing yards, four catches, 35 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Marvin Jones DETÂ = Eight catches, 96 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Willie Snead BAL = Five catches, 64 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Josh Reynolds LAR = Eight catches, 94 receiving yards
TE Cameron Brate TB = Three catches, 31 receiving yards, one touchdown
The Disappointing Lineup of the Week
QB Baker Mayfield CLE = 132 passing yards
RB Phillip Lindsay DEN = Two rushing yards
RB Zack Moss BUF = 20 rushing yards
RB Jordan Wilkins IND = 28 rushing yards
WR N’Keal Harry NE = No catches
WR AJ Green CIN = No catches
WR Gabriel Davis BUF = No catches
TE Jared Cook NO =No catches
Gut Checks
I’d be worried if I was starting Russell Wilson. He should come back, but these last few games have been awful.
I’d be worried if I was trying to guard DeAndre Hopkins in the end zone with “just” three guys.
I’d be worried if I was starting James Conner. He’s had two awful outings in a row.
I’d be worried if I wasn’t really interested in seeing just how much this role for Antonio Brown is going to grow.
I’d be worried if I thought Chase Edmonds was just going to go away.
I’d be worried if I thought Ronald Jones has turned the corner. Who knows.
I’d be worried if I was playing against Kyler Murray.
I’d be worried if I was still starting Jarvis Landry or any Cleveland receiver.
I’d be worried if I still thought Anthony Miller was better than Darnell Mooney.
I’d be worried if I thought I had the Jacksonville receiving corps figured out.
I’d be worried if I ever tried to fit my head through any kind of iron stair railing.
I’d be worried if I was starting any Bears running back.
I’d be worried if I was ignoring a pretty solid season from Eric Ebron.
I’d be worried if I wasn’t disappointed if I passed on Tee Higgins in my rookie draft.
I’d be worried if I owned David Johnson.
I’d be worried if I thought Adrian Peterson was going to get another shot in Detroit.
I’d be worried if I owned Cam Newton. This is looking like the end.
I’d be worried if I wasn’t keeping an eye on Antonio Callaway and D’Onta Foreman.
I’d be worried if I thought Mike Davis could simply replace CMC. Nope.
I’d be worried if I thought AJ Brown was going to do that again.
I’d be worried if I was starting Jared Goff. He should have feasted this week.
I’d be worried if I hadn’t checked to see if Taysom Hill was TE eligible in my league.
I’d be worried if I thought Jameis Winston was just going to flame out. He has a great opportunity here.
I’d be worried if I was still holding on to Kenny Stills.
The top scoring rookies through week Ten
I’m adding the scoring change from week-to-week so you can see how each performance is affecting their averages – this could help you in determining any buy or sell opportunities.
1.) Justin Herbert QB LAC = 27.78 (-0.63)
2.) Joe Burrow QB CIN = 22.04 (-0.92)
3.) Tua Tagovailoa QB MIA = 20.18 (I took out the two games he played sparingly)
4.) Jake Luton QB JAX = 18.48 (-7.02)
5.) James Robinson RB JAX = 18.30 (-0.64)
6.) Chase Claypool WR PIT = 15.74 (+0.73)
7.) Justin Jefferson WR MIN = 15.36 (+0.77)
8.) Antonio Gibson RB WAS = 14.68Â (+0.98)
9.) Brandon Aiyuk WR SF = 14.56Â (+0.85)
10.) D’Andre Swift RB DET = 14.18 (+1.39)
11.) Tee Higgins WR CIN = 14.12Â (+1.24)
12.) Clyde Edwards-Helaire RB KC = 14.11 (No change)
13.) CeeDee Lamb WR DAL = 13.87 (No change)
14.) Jonathan Taylor RB IND = 12.12Â (-0.81)
15.) Jerry Jeudy WR DEN = 11.24 (-0.06)
16.) Salvon Ahmed RB MIA = 9.90 (+6.10)
17.) Laviska Shenault WR JAX = 9.23 (No change)
18.) Jalen Reagor WR PHI = 9.13Â (-0.14)
19.) Zack Moss RB BUF = 8.92 (-1.00)
20.) Denzel Mims WR NYJ = 8.20 (No change)
Notable players not in the top 20 of rookie scorers: Darnell Mooney (8.01), Joshua Kelley (7.90), Michael Pittman (7.78), KJ Hamler (7.70), JK Dobbins (7.42), DeeJay Dallas (6.84), Henry Ruggs (6.75), Gabriel Davis (6.45), Lamical Perine (4.74), Bryan Edwards (3.50), Cam Akers (3.28), Anthony McFarland (2.20).
The Rookie Top 20
Always check our latest rankings to see the updates through the week. I take these from the rankers who input their information the quickest after the end of the week.Â
1.) CeeDee Lamb, WR DALÂ (Previous Ranking: 1)
Bye week
2.) Clyde Edwards-Helaire, RB KCÂ (2)
Bye Week
3.) Justin Jefferson, WR MIN (Eight catches, 135 receiving yards) (3)
He may well outscore Adam Thielen this season.
4.) JK Dobbins, RB BAL (13 rushing yards, one catch, one receiving yard) (4)
You have to just suck it up this season. It’s not going to get better.
5.) D’Andre Swift, RB DET (81 rushing yards, five catches, 68 receiving yards, one touchdown) (5)
He’s finally broken through now and should have a monster second half.
6.) Jonathan Taylor, RB IND (12 rushing yards, two catches, 25 receiving yards) (6)
I’ve shared my opinion on him a lot lately. It’s only getting worse. I’ve seen some people claim he’s the next Trent Richardson. No, he’s not. T-Rich posted 950 rushing yards, 51 catches, 367 receiving yards, and scored 12 touchdowns as a rookie. Taylor is on pace for 761 rushing yards, 38 receptions, 361 receiving yards and seven scores this season. So, the answer is clearly no, he’s not Trent Richardson. The beginning of his career has been worse.
7.) Tee Higgins, WR CIN (Nine Catches, 115 yards, one touchdown) (7)
He’s looking look a major steal at the first and second round turn in rookie drafts. You have to love his consistency.
8.) Jerry Jeudy, WR DEN (Four catches, 68 receiving yards) (8)
Another decent outing this week.
9.) Chase Claypool WR PIT (Four catches, 56 receiving yards, two touchdowns) (9)
His nine touchdowns in nine games shows just how high ceiling is. The floor is still there, though.
10.) James Robinson, RB JAX (109 rushing yards, two receptions, three receiving yards) (10)
I can’t say much more. We’ll see just what he can do against Pittsburgh.
11.) Antonio Gibson, RB WAS (45 rushing yards, four catches, 20 receiving yards, two touchdowns) (11)
He’s been solid and gets most of the goal line carries. He’d really be good if JD McKissic wasn’t catching everything, but we don’t need to be greedy.
12.) Henry Ruggs, WR LV (Three catches, 31 receiving yards) (12)
I still don’t get why they don’t target him more often.
13.) Jalen Reagor, WR PHI (Seven catches, 45 receiving yards) (13)
We need to see a lot more from him before we say he’s a better option than Fulgham.
14.) Brandon Aiyuk, WR SF (Seven catches, 75 receiving yards, one touchdown) (14)
He has 24 targets and two touchdowns the past two games he’s played and looks more and more like a rookie draft bargain every week.
15.) Cam Akers, RB LAR (Bye week) (15)
Still clearly part of a three man committee.
16.) Laviska Shenault, WR JAX (DNP) (16)
He needs to get healthy to maintain this spot.
17.) Joe Burrow, QB CIN (213 passing yards, one touchdown) (17)
He has five interceptions all season and Russell Wilson has ten. Go figure.
18.) Michael Pittman, WR IND (Eight catches, 101 receiving yards) (18)
Starting to come on now.
19.) Justin Herbert, QB LAC (187 passing yards, two touchdowns, one interception) (19)
Couldn’t get much going this week against Miami.
20.) Tua Tagovailoa, QB MIAÂ (NR)
The league is full of great young quarterbacks and Tua seems to be towards the top of the list.
Ken is on Twitter at DLF_KenK
