The Dynasty Aftermath: Changing to Vegan

Ken Kelly Posted On September 22, 2020

Editor’s Note: The Dynasty Aftermath is dedicated to our friend James Koutoulas, who was a valued member of the DLF and fantasy communities and co-host of the SuperFlex Supershow Podcast. James passed away suddenly on Saturday and our thoughts are with his family and friends. James, may you rest in peace where there are never any injuries, you get the fantasy points you need and always have the 1.01. You will be missed!

Welcome to DLF’s Dynasty Aftermath. This staple article is our longest running signature piece as we have a little fun after a tough week at the Dynasty League Football office. You’ll find this article will review the week’s happenings in a variety of ways and help set you up for the coming weeks as we spin around the league in the way we know best. Expect it each and every week.

I’ve written this column for over fifteen years and I really do enjoy it. I love combing through the stats of the week, putting together ridiculous lineups, picking MVPs/LVPs and discussing things to worry about.

That’s not all.

I also really love sharing little bits of my life with the community of DLF and picking a theme for this column each week. You really never know what you’re going to get. In fact, I’ll reserve the right to change my theme ideas if something cool happens like my friend peeing their pants at the Goodwill. If you missed one, click below:

Week One: The Peloton

Let’s do it!

Those of you who have children have likely heard someone say, “I’d do anything for my kids.” Most of us rarely really put that to the test, but occassionally that saying does come into play. A couple of years ago, my son was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, which is like the twin brother to Chron’s Disease, but clearly that twin brother you would never want to see at a family reunion. This disease attacks your colon and the only way I can really describe the feeling as I understand it (and in terms you would all relate to) is saying it’s similar to eating 15 ghost pepper wings, washing it down with a tall IPA, then lighting a firecracker and swallowing it.

As a parent, you have these dreams of having these proud moments of your children getting a scholarship, acing a test, scoring a game winning basket, hitting a home run, etc. Well, I’m very proud to say my son is the youngest kid to ever get a feeding tube through his nose and into his stomach by himself at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital. Needless to say, I couldn’t love him any more. He’s one tough kid.

With this information, our family has needed to make some sacrifices to acclimate to a new way of life. Many of the recommended medications haven’t worked for him and if you’re reading this column for medical advice or to learn more about this ailment, I would invite you to go out to WebMd.

I’ll wait.

Now that you’re sure you have cancer, whooping cough or the bubonic plague, I’ll continue.

One of the changes he’s had to make is to dramatically change his diet. I remember when my wife (you know her, she’s the one who bought the death machine) told me we should consider changing to a vegan style of eating. I was actually pretty excited because I thought we were going to have the following:

- - Massive buffets
  - Free Drink tickets
  - Entertainment

Once I realized she said VEGAN and not VEGAS, my heart dropped. I felt this overwhelming feeling of fear and anxiety rushing through my body. You see, there’s something most of you don’t know about me.

I’m a fat kid.

I grew up without many limitations on what I could eat and really no knowledge of what a healthy diet even looked like. I was a stubborn child who would challenge my parents by sitting at the table and refusing to eat green beans. After hours upon hours, they finally just gave up. They were afraid I’d starve, so I would win more times than I lost (spoiler alert: don’t do that as a parent). I ate loads of Top Ramen, Blue Bell BBQ chips, Spam, Deviled Ham, Land O’Frost lunch meats, soda pop, frozen pizzas and anything else you can think of that’s terrible for you. As I’ve grown older, I’ve been fortunate for the most part as my metabolism hasn’t changed to a dangerous point and I’ve always been able to keep myself out of the “obese” range…barely. However, I’ve never eaten well.

If you don’t know what a vegan diet is, follow these steps:

Make a list of everything that tastes good
Throw that away and you can eat everything else

So, I’ve spent the better part of the last month experimenting with different foods. I’ve found the following:

The “impossible” burger is exactly that – impossible to make taste like hamburger
Vegan hot dogs are what you’d expect – vegetables wrapped in a mysterious but familiar looking sheath
Some condiments are my friend

I’m not writing this for you to feel sorry for me, there is a fantasy football point here, I promise. I am saying, however, if you see me at Buffalo Wild Veggies or KFC (Kentucky Fried Cauliflower), I’ll be the one crying in the fetal position in the corner. But again, what can I do? You’ll do ANYTHING for your children and this is a sacrifice I need to make for him to be healthy and for me to be as supportive as I can. I mean, really, what’s the alternative? Admit my weakness by running errands and trying to sneak in some chicken strips to eat in my truck before I get home from the store, only to risk getting caught with them? That’s wrong. It’s dishonest. And frankly. It’s shameful.

After finishing my chicken strips driving on my way home from the store on Sunday night, it dawned on me. This would make for a great aftermath theme.

And here is the point. Finally.

Many, if not most, of you have dynasty teams ravaged by injuries. While your lineups (just like my diet) will not look the same, this is no time to give up. Nobody is going to feel bad for you (just like nobody does for me) and you have a choice to make just like I did – you can whine about it knowing nobody will really listen or get to work.

Let’s get to work. Stop your whining. Win without your stars and stick it to the other owners in your league.

Week Two Fantasy MVP

If the first two weeks are any indication, it’s clear Aaron Jones‘ 2019 season was no fluke. Through two games, the Green Bay runner has 234 rushing yards (on a ridiculous 6.9 yards per carry), 78 receiving yards and four total touchdowns. He’s also leading the Packers in red zone targets. This week, Jones carved up the Lions for 18/168/2 rushing and 4/68/1 receiving en route to a truly dominant fantasy performance. While it’s unlikely he ends up as the overall RB1 as he is now, with injuries mounting, he’s a clear “set it and forget it” RB1 until further notice.

Week Two Fantasy LVP

I’m trying to stay away from the injured players for this award and that limits it down to what it seems be 12 brave survivors. In all seriousness, let’s give this one to Anthony Milller, who not only posted a giant goose egg in the scoring column, but also seemingly lost his job to upstart rookie Darnell Mooney. Miller was supposed to take a giant leap this year and got off to nice start in week one. However, the wheels fell off the cart in week two. While it’s too early to make any final calls, this is a huge disappointment in deeper dynasty leagues.

Lineup Fun

The Unbeatable Lineup of the Week

QB Russell Wilson SEA = 288 passing yards, 39 rushing yards, five touchdowns, one interception (thanks, Greg)
RB Aaron Jones GB = 168 rushing yards, four catches, 68 receiving yards, three touchdowns
RB Nick Chubb CLE = 124 rushing yards, one catch, nine receiving yards, two touchdowns
RB Alvin Kamara NO = 79 rushing yards, nine catches, 95 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Calvin Ridley ATL = Seven catches, 109 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Stefon Diggs BUF = Eight catches, 153 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Julian Edelman NE = Eight catches, 179 receiving yards
TE Tyler Higbee LAR = Five catches, 54 receiving yards, three touchdowns

The Underdog Lineup of the Week

QB Justin Herbert LAC = 311 passing yards, 18 rushing yards, two touchdowns, one interception
RB Leonard Fournette TB = 103 rushing yards, four catches, 13 receiving yards, two touchdowns
RB James Robinson JAX = 102 rushing yards, three catches, 18 receiving yards, one touchdown
RB Darrell Henderson LAR = 81 rushing yards, two catches, 40 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Diontae Johnson PIT = Eight catches, 92 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Chase Claypool PIT = Three catches, 88 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Braxton Berrios NYJ = Six catches, 59 receiving yards, one touchdown
TE Jordan Reed SF = Seven catches, 50 receiving yards, two touchdowns

The Disappointing Lineup of the Week

QB Tom Brady TB = 217 passing yards, one touchdown, one interception
RB Peyton Barber WAS = One rushing yard
RB Cam Akers LAR = 13 rushing yards
RB Todd Gurley ATL = 61 rushing yards
WR JJ Arcega-Whiteside PHI = No catches
WR Henry Ruggs LV = One catch, four yards
WR Scotty Miller TB = Two catches, 11 receiving yards
TE Greg Olsen SEA = No catches, one drop that led to a pick-six

The All-Medical Tent Lineup of the Week

QB Jimmy Garoppolo SF = Ankle
RB Saquon Barkley NYG = Knee
RB Christian McCaffrey CAR = Ankle
RB Raheem Mostert SF = Knee
WR Courtland Sutton DEN = Knee
WR Davante Adams GB = Hamstring
WR Sterling Shepard NYG = Toe
TE CJ Uzomah CIN = Knee
WRITER ME DLF = Stomach / Hunger

I’d be worried if I was playing against Russell Wilson at any point soon.

I’d be worried if I was still not a believer in Stefon Diggs or Josh Allen.

I’d be worried if I didn’t think Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt could co-exist.

I’d be worried if I owned TY Hilton.

I’d be worried if I was starting Austin Hooper. I wish I got paid that much for doing that little.

I’d be worried if I thought real meat could be replaced with fake meat. I’ve never met a plastic cow and if I did, I doubt I’d milk it or put it on my barbecue.

I’d be worried if I didn’t think Joshua Kelley was here to stay.

I’d be worried if I thought Gerald Everett was going to split anything with Tyler Higbee.

I’d be worried if I had Daniel Jones. Losing Barkley won’t help and Freeman isn’t Barkley.

I’d be worried if I still didn’t think Russell Gage was going to have some value.

I’d be worried if I thought impossible was possible.

I’d be worried if I had Kenyan Drake as my RB1.

I’d be worried if I owned Drew Brees. He just doesn’t look the same.

I’d be worried if I was relying on any Raiders wide receiver.

I’d be worried if I expected consistency from Emmanuel Sanders.

I’d be worried if I thought Will Fuller could stay healthy.

I’d be worried if I never ate my vegetables.

I’d be worried if I didn’t buy low on Diontae Johnson.

I’d be worried if I owned Tyrod Taylor. I have a feeling he’s going to be about 99% healthy the rest of the year.

I’d be worried if I was ignoring Gabriel Davis.

I’d be worried if I was freaking out over Antonio Gibson‘s lukewarm start.

I’d be worried if I gave into my children whenever they wanted to eat something else. I’m 44 now, it’s not like I’m able to make my own choices.

I’d be worried if I owned Rob Gronkowsi. He may need to have his old Hall of Fame quarterback to have value again. Oh, snap!

I’d be worried if I owned Ronald Jones. It took one fumble for Leonard Fournette to emerge.

I’d be worried if I owned Deshaun Watson. Love the player, hate the roster makeup.

I’d be worried if I owned AJ Green. Lots of targets and little to show for it so far.

I’d be worried if I was freaking out over “average” games from Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson.

I’d be worried if I underestimated Terry McLaurin.

I’d be worried if I overestimated Antonio Gandy-Golden.

I’d be worried if I still thought Trevor Lawrence was a lock for Jacksonville.

I’d be worried if I tried something called “A Celebration Roast.” This looks like a ham, but is squash, mushrooms and apples formed together to be disguised as ham. I saw it in the fridge and thought someone cracked. No such luck.

I’d be worried if I didn’t have some depth on my team.

I’d be worried if I was relying on any running back on the Lions.

…or the Rams

…or the Ravens.

…or the Dolphins.

I’d be worried if I was overreacting to any injury. Look, it happens. This might open an opportunity to buy some players and the worst thing you can do is sell too low.

Bonus Section One: Fun With Numbers

Josh Allen is on pace for 5,832 passing yards with a 70% completion percentage. Not sure which is more shocking.

Joe Burrow is on pace for 776 passing attempts. His arm is going to fall off.

Russell Wilson is on pace for 72 passing touchdowns and just eight interceptions (all coming off the hands of Greg Olsen)

Aaron Jones is on pace for 1,872 rushing yards on nearly seven yards per carry.

Derrick Henry is on pace for 448 carries.

Josh Jacobs is on pace for 416 carries.

Calvin Ridley and Stefon Diggs are on pace for 1,912 receiving yards each.

DeAndre Hopkins is on pace for 176 catches.

Bonus Section Two: The Rookie Top 20

1.) Clyde Edwards-Helaire, RB KC (38 rushing yards, six catches, 32 receiving yards)(Previous Ranking: 1)
The rushing yards were donwn but the receiving yards were up. Touchdowns are fluky, gang. He’s just fine.

2.) Jonathan Taylor, RB IND (1o1 rushing yards, two receptions, nine receiving yards) (2)
He has a golden opportunity and really produced this week.

3.) JK Dobbins, RB BAL (48 rushing yards, one catch, 13 receiving yards) (4)
He shared more time this week than last. Owners are going to need to be really patient.

4.) CeeDee Lamb, WR DAL (Six catches, 106 receiving yards) (3)
This will be the first of many 100-yard games for Lamb, who is getting more targets than Michael Gallup at this point.

5.) Jerry Jeudy, WR DEN (Four catches, 62 receiving yards) (6)
Much like Taylor, Jeudy gets a short-term boost due to an injury. This time, the victim is Courtland Sutton.

6.) D’Andre Swift, RB DET (12 rushing yards, five catches, 60 receiving yards) (5)
A bit of a bounceback this week for Swift, but he’s far from a sure thing in a lineup right now.

7.) Cam Akers, RB LAR (13 rushing yards) (7)
Akers suffered a rib injury and saw yet another Rams running back take over. At this point, I’m getting a little nervous.

8.) Jalen Reagor, WR PHI (Four catches, 41 receiving yards) (9)
He’s been solid, but unspectacular. Pretty much as expected. Be patient.

9.) Justin Jefferson, WR MIN (Three catches, 44 receiving yards) (8)
The Vikings offense is horrible at the moment.

10.) Henry Ruggs, WR LV (One catch, four receiving yards) (10)
He’s healthy, but it hasn’t clicked yet. He did draw a huge pass interference call, though.

11.) Laviska Shenault, WR JAX (Three catches, 35 receiving yards, 37 rushing yards) (14)
He actually looks like the backup running back and a starting receiver. Love it!

12.) Antonio Gibson, RB WAS (55 rushing yards, one touchdown) (12)
I told everyone last week Peyton Barber wasn’t just going away. He went away.

13.) Tee Higgins, WR CIN (Three catches, 35 receiving yards) (11)
Higgins was able to see his first few targets and the Bengals are destined to be throwing.

14.) Bryan Edwards, WR LV (Two catches, 42 receiving yards) (17)
If you believe in him, this is the time to buy. He’s just not part of the game plan so far.

15.) Michael Pittman, WR IND (Four catches, 37 receiving yards) (13)
He’s going to be more involved now that Campbell is out again.

16.) Denzel Mims, WR NYJ (Still out with an injury) (15)
Tick. Tock.

17.) Joshua Kelley, RB LAC (64 rushing yards, two catches, 49 receiving yards) (NR)
When you get 25 touches and Austin Ekeler gets 20, you deserve to vault into the top 20.

18.) Brandon Aiyuk, WR SF (Two catches, 21 receiving yards) (16)
Good to see him make his debut.

19.) Joe Burrow, QB CIN (316 passing yards, three touchdowns) (19)
Outside of solid numbers, you have to love how he’s taking the blame for his team’s failures – that’s the sign of a leader.

20.) Zack Moss, RB BUF (37 rushing yards) (18)
I can’t believe it, but the Bills look like a passing team.

Other notable players…

Chase Claypool, Darnell Mooney and James Robinson continue to rise. The buy window on each of them is closing by the minute.

Author
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Ken Kelly

Co-Founder at DynastyLeagueFootball

Ken is a corporate trainer by day an a tireless editor of dynasty content by night. His passion for the World Champion Seattle Seahawks is second only to his love of fantasy football and the dynasty format.

Ken is on Twitter at DLF_KenK