The Dynasty Aftermath: My Life as Ken
Those of you who have been around these parts for any amount of time likely know of my weekly regular season column called The Dynasty Aftermath. Within that article, I typically talk about crazy lineups, have some fun with numbers, name an MVP or LVP for the week and make some general comments. My favorite section is entitled, “Gut Checks,” where I list the things I’m most worried about. With preseason games underway, I thought it would be fun to check in each week of the preseason and provide some preseason gut checks. One of the things I’m also typically known for is coming up with some kind of whacky or weird theme each week, so let’s not break tradition and dive in quickly to the 2023 fantasy season.
My name is Ken. Yep, that name. It’s not as bad as being named Karen right now but one of my worst nightmares is back. As I grew up, many classmates would ask me where Barbie was and get a great laugh about it. Inside, I hated them and found myself grateful I was also in a class with a kid named Michael Jackson. It helped.
With the new Barbie movie out, a whole new group of people who think they’re funny yet have no Netflix specials I can find are bringing it all back. “Hey Ken! Are you Kenough?” “Ken, where’s Skipper?” “Ken, where your wife, Barbie?” My response to them is pretty simple – I share a chuckle and act as if they’re original. However, I don’t laugh on the inside and think they’re all pretty much idiots. Anyway, with that in mind, let’s get to the Barbie-themed edition of gut checks after one week of the preseason.
Week One Gut Checks
I’d be worried if I was relying on any one of the rookie quarterbacks in week one as Bryce Young, CJ Stroud, Will Levis, and Anthony Richardson all have had their struggles.
I’d be worried if I was overreacting to any of these rookies and their struggles.
I’d be worried if I was relying too much on Rhamondre Stevenson this season.
I’d be worried if I was ignoring the camp reports on Tank Dell.
I’d be worried if I was ignoring Malik Cunningham.
I’d be worried if I always walked on my toes.
I’d be worried if I thought Jaxon Smith-Njigba was going to be eased into anything this season. He’s ready.
I’d be worried if I thought we were going to make it another week without a significant injury.
I’d be worried if I thought Breece Hall‘s long-term value was affected by Dalvin Cook joining the Jets.
I’d be worried if I was ignoring the positive reports on Jordan Love.
I’d be worried if I didn’t have Dontayvion Wicks on my radar.
I’d be worried if I had hair made of plastic.
I’d be worried if I thought Chris Evans was going to step aside for Chase Brown as the Cincy RB2
I’d be worried if I thought Aaron Jones was toast.
I’d be worried if I thought Bijan Robinson was really Atlanta’s RB3.
I’d be worried if I wasn’t paying attention to the chance De’Von Achane now has.
I’d be worried if I thought the winner of the battle between Baker Mayfield and Kyle Trask wouldn’t have some real value this year.
I’d be worried if I forgot about Calvin Austin III.
I’d be worried if I made any kind of Barbie joke around anyone named Ken.
I’d be worried if I wasn’t paying attention to what looks like progress from Kenny Pickett.
I’d be worried if I didn’t think Sam LaPorta was going to be a factor this season.
I’d be worried if I was relying too much on any single running back.
I’d be worried if I was ignoring Chris Rodriguez.
I’d be worried if I wasn’t keenly interested in who wins the RB2 job in Cleveland.
I’d be worried if I thought Sam Howell was going to somehow lose that job.
I’d be worried if I had a cousin named Skipper.
I’d be worried if I was ignoring Dorian Thompson-Robinson.
I’d be worried if I wasn’t tracking the Arizona RB2 situation.
I’d be worried if I was sleeping on the potential of James Cook.
I’d be worried if I missed out on Justin Fields or DJ Moore. It’s just one game but that thing looks lethal.
I’d be worried if I thought Will Levis was anywhere close to unseating Ryan Tannehill.
I’d be worried if I wasn’t paying attention to Deuce Vaughn.
I’d be worried if I didn’t have Elijah Dotson on my dynasty watch list.
…and most of all. I’d be worried if I wasn’t looking forward to the season. We remain committed to bringing you the best dynasty content on the planet – something we’ve never wavered on. I personally look forward to sharing little bits of my life and engaging with the best darn fantasy community on the planet. Remember, gang. We are all KENOUGH!
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