The Dynasty Aftermath: I’m Going to Teach your Babies How to Smoke
Welcome to DLF’s Dynasty Aftermath. This staple article is our longest running signature piece as we have a little fun after a tough week at the Dynasty League Football office. You’ll find this article will review the week’s happenings in a variety of ways and help set you up for the coming weeks as we spin around the league in the way we know best. Expect it each and every week.
I’ve written this column for nearly fifteen years and I really do enjoy it. I love combing through the stats of the week, putting together ridiculous lineups, finding waiver wire gems, picking MVPs/LVPs and discussing things to worry about.
That’s not all.
I also really love sharing little bits of my life with the community of DLF and picking a theme for this column each week. This year, I’m going to start out and focus on shows that are stream-worthy out there. I’ll reserve the right to change my theme ideas if something cool happens like my friend peeing their pants at the Goodwill.
This week I’m focusing on a stream-worthy show that was just cancelled last year, The Last Man on Earth. The show follows Phil Miller in his quest to find other human beings and acclimate to a world with its population wiped out by a deadly virus. The reason I’m focusing here for week one is the clip below as I really feel like this is what it must have felt like for the Raiders when they were considering cutting Antonio Brown.
Let’s do this!
Week One Fantasy MVP
We now live in a world very similar to the one Phil “Tandy” Miller was living in where everyone is dead. It seems just as weird as Sammy Watkins seems actually good. Watkins exploded for 198 yards on nine catches and scored a whopping three touchdowns in the Chiefs win against Jacksonville. With Tyreek Hill out for an extended period, Watkins may finally have the chance to emerge as the WR1 so many have hoped he’d be all along. His 46.8 fantasy points were a career high and he had never scored three touchdowns in a game. I have a hard time trusting him, but that was impressive.
Week One Fantasy LVP
There is now real concern with Corey Davis. After two years of mediocre performance, Davis was left without a single catch on three targets in the Titans season opener. This was supposed to be the third year breakout for Davis (and it still could be), however, this was a terrible start as he was overshadowed by AJ Brown in the offense. The Titans didn’t need to throw a ton in their opening day blowout, but many owners spent the 1.01 or 1.02 on Davis a couple of years back and this just isn’t looking good so far.
Lineup Fun
The Immune to all Viruses Unbeatable Lineup of the Week
QB Lamar Jackson BAL = 324 passing yards, five touchdowns
RB Christian McCaffrey CAR = 128 rushing yards, ten catches, 81 receiving yards, two touchdowns
RB Austin Ekeler LAC = 58 rushing yards, six catches, 96 receiving yards, three touchdowns
RB Derrick Henry TEN = 84 rushing yards, one catch, 75 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Sammy Watkins KC = Nine catches, 198 receiving yards, three touchdowns
WR DeSean Jackson PHI = Eight catches, 154 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR TY Hilton IND = Eight catches, 87Â receiving yards, two touchdowns
TE Evan Engram NYG = Eleven catches, 116 receiving yards, one touchdown
The Tandy ever getting with Melissa Underdog Lineup of the Week
QB Gardner Minshew JAX = 275 passing yards, two touchdowns, one interception
RB Malcolm Brown LAR = 53 rushing yards, two vultured Gurley touchdowns
RB Devin Singletary BUF = 70 rushing yards, five catches, 28 receiving yards
RB Tarik Cohen CHI = Eight catches, 49 receiving yards
WR John Ross CIN = Seven catches, 158 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Marquise Brown BAL = Four catches, 147 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Phillip Dorsett NE = Four catches, 95Â receiving yards, two touchdowns
TE Mark Andrews BAL = Eight catches, 108 receiving yards, one touchdown
The Disappointing Nuclear Fallout that Destroys Malibu Lineup of the Week
QB Cam Newton CAR = 239 passing yards, one interception, one lost fumble
RB Darwin Thompson KC = One catch, three receiving yards
RB Sony Michel NE = 14 rushing yards on 15 carries
RB Joe Mixon CIN = Ten rushing yards, two catches, seven receiving yards
WR Corey Davis TEN = No catches
WR Dante Pettis SF = One catch, seven receiving yards
WR Donte Moncrief PIT = Three catches, seven receiving yards
TE Eric Ebron IND = One catch, eight receiving yards
Gut Checks
I’d be worried if I owned Corey Davis. See above.
I’d be worried if I owned Derrius Guice. Not the start he wanted and it was made worse with another injury.
I’d be worried if I was playing against Patrick Mahomes. I don’t care if Hill is out or not.
I’d be worried if Tandy Miller offered to give me a ride out into the desert.
I’d be worried if I owned Todd Gurley. If that’s the workload he’s going to get, he’s not going to be a RB1
I’d be worried if I had given up on Larry Fitzgerald. The guy is amazing.
I’d be worried if I was relying on Mike Williams early this year. He wasn’t doing much before his knee injury.
I’d be worried if I jumped into marriage just to repopulate the earth.
I’d be worried if I was ignoring the monster day from Marlon Mack.
I’d be worried if I was relying on David Montgomery early.
I’d be worried if I was counting on Josh Gordon or Antonio Brown for the entire season. I just see this as amazingly volatile.
I’d be worried if I was freaking out over the Browns faceplant.
I’d be worried if I was passing judgment on what Tom Hanks did in Cast Away. Tandy figures this out quick.
I’d be worried if I was still hanging on to Jerick McKinnon.
I’d be worried if I thought Austin Ekeler’s performance was a fluke.
I’d be worried if I was relying on a Dante Pettis breakout.
I’d be worried if I owned Kalen Ballage. Ouch.
I’d be worried if I had given up on Delanie Walker.
I’d be worried if I had Damien Williams. LeSean McCoy isn’t going away.
I’d be worried if I drafted N’Keal Harry first overall this off-season. It wasn’t necessarily a mistake, but it’s a real concern.
I’d be worried if I was trusting a cannibal (you have to watch the show, gang).
I’d be worried if I was counting on Tevin Coleman.
I’d be worried if I was underestimating the value of Mark Ingram.
I’d be worried if I owned Rashaad Penny. Sorry, it’s not happening any time soon without an injury to Chris Carson.
I’d be worried if I was undervaluing John Brown.
I’d be worried if I’m overreacting to absolutely anything this week. Scoring leaders are going to look off as some players likely had their best day of the year. Patience needs to be applied in your leagues so you don’t make a you move you’ll regret come October. Studs will be studs and rookies will develop slowly. It’s no time to overreact to anything.
Deep Waiver Wire Suggestions
Damion Willis, WR CIN
He didn’t put up monster numbers, but he didn’t faceplant as a starter.
Gardner Minshew, QB JAX
I always feel any starting quarterback should be owned in most leagues. Minshew was awful in the preseason, but looked serviceable on Sunday. I don’t expect the second coming of Kurt Warner here, but he has a chance.
Raheem Mostert, RB SF
I’ve always liked him and Tevin Coleman is already banged up.
Dontrell Hilliard, RB CLE
He ruined some fantasy weeks when he vultured a touchdown from Nick Chubb. He would have some standalone value if Chubb was to get injured and he’s a deep roster stash regardless.
Fun With Numbers
John Ross is on pace for 2,528 receiving yards and 32 touchdowns in what would clearly be seen as a comeback season.
Sammy Watkins is on pace for 3,168 receiving yards and 48 touchdowns. My bet is he comes up just a little short, but even if he didn’t, his owners would still be mad about the past five mediocre seasons.
Jamison Crowder is on pace for 224 catches this season.
Marlon Mack is on pace for 2,784 rushing yards this year. Take THAT Andrew Luck! We just needed to get you out of the way!
Christian McCaffrey is on pace to post a season with 2,048 rushing yards, 160 receptions, 1,296 receiving yards and 32 total touchdowns. The scary thing is that actually seems nearly possible.
Ronald Jones is on pace for a 1,200-yard rushing season – that actually seems less possible than what McCaffrey is on pace for.
Andy Dalton is on pace for 6,688 passing yards this year.
Lamar Jackson is on pace to post a season with 80 touchdowns and no interceptions. It’s too bad he can’t play Miami 16 weeks in a row,
Ken is on Twitter at DLF_KenK
