The Dynasty Aftermath: The Money Pit Edition
Welcome to DLF’s Dynasty Aftermath. This staple article is our longest running signature piece as we have a little fun after a tough week at the Dynasty League Football office. You’ll find this article will review the week’s happenings in a variety of ways and help set you up for the coming weeks as we spin around the league in the way we know best. As you know, this year I’m covering movies I loved growing up and tying them into fantasy football.
“Sir, you have bats.”
Those are words I’ll remember for the rest of my life. About ten years ago, my wife and I purchased an older home (it was built in the 1920s) and spent countless hours over the Winter making home improvements. The following April, we started hearing strange noises in a sealed up attic. When I called the exterminator, he came to my door and told me what the problem was before even stepping foot into my door. Long story short, we had a migratory colony of bats who returned each year and made their home in my attic. When you looked up at my house at dusk, you could count nearly 1,000 of them. It cost me nearly $60,000 to get things squared away. Â Since that time, my house with a lot of “character” has had a broken sewer line, two blown heat pumps, a leaky roof, a tree that fell on (and subsequently destroyed) my car and is currently enduring a month where I need to replace my heat pump, water heater, dishwasher and clothes dryer all at once.
My home has been affectionately nicknamed, “The Money Pit,” by my friends (yes, I have three of those) after the classic Tom Hanks movie. So, in honor of my cash sucking “Old West Side Charmer,” I bring you the Aftermath. Â The scene below is crazy for some but a typical Saturday for me.
Week Seven Fantasy MVP
Well, the cold streak from Amari Cooper sure did end with a bang. After posting 18 catches for 146 yards and one touchdown in the first six games of the year, Cooper went absolutely nuts with 11 catches for 210 yards and two touchdowns on a whopping 19 targets this week alone. While this will undoubtedly be his best game of the year, it also brings a huge sigh of relief to his owners. He’ll surely cool off but the Raiders seemed to have figured out where to line him up and utilize his talents. Cooper is squarely back on the map – just temper your expectations a little as things will even out.
Week Seven Fantasy LVP
What in the world has happened to Martavis Bryant? Owners of Bryant have had to exhibit extraordinary patience over the past year and have been subsequently rewarded with an uber-talented but unproductive player who is now trying to do his best to escape Pittsburgh. This has clearly gone from bad to worse.
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Lineup Fun
The Unbeatable Fixer Upper Lineup of the Week
QB Carson Wentz PHIÂ = 268 passing yards, one interception, 63 rushing yards, four touchdowns
RB Ezekiel Elliott DAL= 147 rushing yards, one catch, 72 receiving yards, three touchdowns
RB LeSean McCoy BUF= 91 rushing yards, five catches, 31 receiving yards, two touchdowns
RB Todd Gurley LARÂ = 106 rushing yards, four receptions, 48 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Amari Cooper OAK= 11 catches, 210 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Doug Baldwin SEA= Nine catches, 92 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Tyreek Hill KC= Six catches, 125 receiving yards, one touchdown
TE Jordan Reed WAS = Eight catches, 64 receiving yards, two touchdowns
The Home Equity Loan Underdog Lineup of the Week
QB Josh McCown NYJ= 209 passing yards, four total touchdowns, one interception
RB Aaron Jones GB= 131 rushing yards, three catches, seven receiving yards, one touchdown
RB TJ Yeldon JAX= 122 rushing yards, two catches, 15 receiving yards, one touchdown
RBÂ Latavius Murray MIN TENÂ = 113 rushing yards, one touchdown
WR Kenny Stills MIA=Â Six receptions, 85 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Ted Ginn NO = Seven receptions, 141 receiving yards
WR Travis Benjamin LAC= One reception, 42 receiving yards, one touchdown, one PR score
TEÂ OJ Howard TB= Six catches, 98 receiving yards, two touchdowns
The “Sir, you have bats.” Disappointing Lineup of the Week
QB Carson Palmer ARI= 122 passing yards, one interception, one broken arm
RB Matt Breida SF=Â Five rushing yards
RB Elijah McGuire NYJ= Seven rushing yards
RB Marshawn Lynch OAK=Â Nine rushing yards
WR Martavis Bryant PIT = One catch, three receiving yards, two rushing yards
WR Mike Wallace BAL=Â One catch, Nine receiving yards
WR Jordy Nelson GB= One catch, 13 receiving yards
TE Martellus Bennett GB=Â Two catches, 18 receiving yards
Gut Checks
I’d be worried if I wasn’t paying attention to the resurgence of Jarvis Landry.
I’d be worried if I owned Isaiah Crowell. He just seems very ordinary at this point.
I’d be worried if I expected consistency from Derrick Henry.
I’d be worried if I bought a house from the 20s.
I’d be worried if I thought I had anything in regards to the Ezekiel Elliott situation figured out either on or off the field.
I’d be worried if I owned Rob Kelley. Outside of Chris Thompson, this backfield is a hot mess.
I’d be worried if I owned Laquon Treadwell. This is just not happening.
I’d be worried if I was my neighbor.
I’d be worried if I was relying on any Arizona player after the loss of Carson Palmer.
Ditto for the Packers, outside of possibly Aaron Jones. Who would have said that two months ago?
I’d be worried if I’m forgetting about Jake Butt if he’s somehow on waivers in your dynasty league.
I’d be worried if I didn’t have a sense of humor when it comes to home repairs.
I’d be worried if I’m putting Mitchell Trubisky in my lineup soon. The Bears somehow won with him attempting SEVEN passes.
I’d be worried if I’m expecting consistency from Demaryius Thomas right now as the Broncos just don’t have things figured out.
I’d be worried if I was hoping for anything from Mike Williams any time soon.
I’d be worried if I was underestimating Tyreek Hill.
I’d be worried if I was a bat and even though about coming back to my place.
I’d be worried if I didn’t have Evan Engram and Carson Wentz in my lineup every week.
I’d be worried if I’m suddenly freaking out over one good performance from Latavius Murray.
I’d be worried if I was still hoping for a breakout from Rashard Higgins.
I’d be worried if I was relying on the 2016 version of Matt Ryan.
I’d be worried if I needed a hazmat team to clean my attic.
I’d be worried if I was hoping Matt Breida would overtake Carlos Hyde soon. We were so close!
I’d be worried if I thought Adrian Peterson was washed up again that quickly.
I’d be worried if I was ignoring what Mark Ingram was doing at the moment.
A Look Ahead to Hot Names on the Waiver Wire
Remember, we focus on the lesser names here. There’s really no need to be telling people of your skill level to pick up players you undoubtedly have like Tarik Cohen, Marlon Mack, Allen Hurns, Wayne Gallman or Kenny Golladay already rostered.  Pay close attention because we tend to be ahead of the curve. Remember also that you need to have space for deep projects – don’t start dropping known commodities. I’m also assuming Jonnu Smith is owned in your leagues.
1.) Chris Moore, WR BAL
He was targeted eight times this week and the Ravens are clearly looking for any type of spark.
2.) Matt Moore, QB MIA
Moore has the look of a feast or famine player but Jay Cutler wasn’t good at all. Could Moore be worse?
3.) Deonte Thompson, WR BUF
This is a total dart throw. However, Thompson caught four passes for 107 yards after being picked up by the Bills last week. There is opportunity on this roster.
4.) AJ Derby, TE DEN
He’s been a little hit and miss the past few weeks. Still, two good games out of three gets you on the list.
Previous suggestions: Brett Hundley, CJ Beathard, Dion Lewis, Bennie Fowler, Roger Lewis, Nick O’Leary, Kevin Hogan, Ricardo Louis, Bryce Treggs, Brice Butler, EJ Manuel, Aaron Jones, Eddie Lacy,Thomas Rawls, JD McKissic, Tyler Kroft, Tyler Higbee, “Smasher” from Over the Top, Jesse James, Mike Tolbert, Kerwynn Williams, Andre Ellington, Orleans Darkwa, Buck Allen, Tommylee Lewis, Markus Wheaton, Geronimo Allison, Keelan Cole, Mack Brown, Malcolm Brown, Alex Collins, Corey Clement, Elijah McGuire, Ryan Griffin, Devin Funchess
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Ken is on Twitter at DLF_KenK
