Welcome to DLF’s Dynasty Aftermath. This staple article is our longest running signature piece as we have a little fun after a tough week at the Dynasty League Football office. You’ll find this article will review the week’s happenings in a variety of ways and help set you up for the coming weeks as we spin around the league in the way we know best.
This week we have a pinch hitter for the Aftermath’s regular scribe, Ken Kelly. That’s right, kids, Jeff Miller is in town and Ken isn’t here to edit his words, so he can do what he wants (including talking about himself in the third person). This pleases Jeff. (Editor’s note: Jeff talks about himself in third person anyway. No changes required.)
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Before we get into the Aftermath proper, I did want to take a moment to let you all know Ken smells like stale popcorn and feet. Oh, and he thinks Game of Thrones is the third worst TV show ever next to BreakingBad and The Wire. Tweet @DLF_KenK and tell him how you feel about all that.
“…for only five easy payments of…” –Every TV pitchman ever
For many years I’ve been fascinated with infomercials and shopping networks. I can’t tell you how often I’ve laid in bed listening to Tom and Sheila hock crappy cutlery on The Knife Show. You’d be amazed how many half hours I’ve spent with Billy Mays and Chef Tony. Yet even after all these years of being told product X is a miracle that will change my life, I’ve never once bought a single thing.
I wish I could say the same about fantasy football. There have been more than a few dozen instances of me buying something because somebody with a nice beard or a collared shirt told me I should. Unfortunately, like most of you, I don’t have time to watch every play of every game to form my own hyper-educated opinion on every player. This is why I own C.J.Anderson.
The trick with fantasy football, especially dynasty, isn’t to be the best player evaluator, it is to have a good enough strategy that when your player evaluation fails, you still have a strong enough roster to work through it. Put another way, if you have a good oven, meat thermometer, and some patience, it won’t sting so much when you find out Ronco’s Showtime Rotisserie isn’t what Mr. Popeil purported it to be.
Week Seven Fantasy MVP
With 83 yards on five receptions, Jarvis Landry’s non-touchdown numbers are fairly pedestrian. What wasn’t so was his first quarter 50 yard catch and run that ended in the end zone (which was one of his two TDs on the day). If you own the guy, you start him every week expecting around 15 PPR points with a high floor and a limited ceiling. When you get a play like that, it is a big bonus.
Week Seven Fantasy LVP
The WR corps in New England and Philadelphia both get a resounding ‘F’ for the week. Between the two teams, there were approximately 173* drops, 150 of which were butterfingered by a returning Brandon LaFell. Julian Edelman has always been drop prone (something he doesn’t get enough heat for), but the other players to commit a pass catching faux paus are generally much more sure handed. Better days lie ahead.
*Depending on the source, the Pats were credited with 11 drops, six of which go to LaFell. The Eagles were marginally better with only seven muffed passes.
The Unbeatable Lineup of the Week
“Set it and forget it!”
QB Ryan Tannehill = 18 for 19 (!!!), 282 yards, four touchdowns, no interceptions
RB Lamar Miller = 236 yards, three receptions, two touchdowns
RB Todd Gurley = 163 yards, four receptions, two touchdowns
RB Arian Foster = 125 yards, five receptions, two touchdowns
WR T.Y. Hilton = 150 yards, four receptions, two touchdowns
WR Mike Evans = 164 yards, eight receptions, one touchdown
WR Jarvis Landry = 88 yards, five receptions, two touchdowns
TE Jordan Reed = 72 yards, 11 receptions, two touchdowns
The Underdog Lineup of the Week
“Supplies are limited, so act now!”
QB Kirk Cousins = 317 yards passing, 15 yards rushing, three touchdowns, no interceptions
RB Danny Woodhead = 101 yards, 11 receptions, two touchdowns
RB Darren McFadden = 162 yards, two receptions, one touchdown
RB Charcandrick West = 129 yards, two receptions, one touchdown
WR Nate Washington = 127 yards, nine receptions, two touchdowns
WR Stefon Diggs = 117 yards, six receptions, one touchdown
WR Robert Woods = 84 yards, nine receptions, one touchdown
TE Eric Ebron = 89 yards, five receptions, one touchdown
The Disappointing Lineup of the Week
“If, for whatever reason, you aren’t completely satisfied, we will give you your money back, guaranteed.”
QB Matt Ryan = 251 yards, one touchdown, two interceptions
RB Ameer Abdullah = 43 yards, zero receptions
RB Carlos Hyde = 40 yards, zero receptions
RB Christine Michael = 20 yards, one reception
WR Golden Tate = 14 yards, two receptions
WR Jordan Matthews = 14 yards, three receptions
WR Odell Beckham Jr. = 35 yards, four receptions
TE Jimmy Graham = 31 yards, two receptions
I’d be worried if I owned Jordan Matthews. He has really struggled of late with too many drops and an abysmal YPR.
I’d be worried if I didn’t own Lamar Miller.
I’d be worried if I had Travis Kelce. The Chiefs offense isn’t built to heavily target a given player, even if that player is light years ahead of all the non-Jeremy Maclin options.
I’d be worried if I was heavily invested in Jimmy Graham.
I’d be worried if I was an Arian Foster guy.
I’d be worried if I was a Devonta Freeman naysayer.
I’d be worried if I was the type to invest heavily in quarterbacks.Matt Ryan, Russell Wilson, and Andrew Luck should have you thinking twice.
I’d be worried if I liked black licorice. It means you either have bad taste or are my grandfather.
I’d be worried if I trusted Darren McFadden.
I’d be worried if I didn’t blow my FAAB on CharcalifragilisticexpialidociousWest.
I’d be worried if I had just hired Jim Bob Cooter to do anything other than drive the team bus.
I’d be worried if I owned Jordan Reed because I don’t know what to do with him. Do you trade him after the 30 point game to rid yourself of the injury concern? Do you hold because he is utterly fantastic? Or do you run around in circles screaming when you can’t decide?
I’d be worried if I listened to Radiohead. Most. Overrated. Band. Ever.
I’d be worried if I was a Brandin Cooks WR1 upside truther.
I’d be worried if I owned Chris Ivory. He is fantastic, but the guy just can’t stay healthy.
I’d be worried if I avoided Raiders players on account of them being Raiders players.
I’d be worried if I took Melvin Gordon in the top half of the first round this summer.
I’d be worried if I bailed on Doug Martin last season.
I’d be worried if I owned Jeremy Hill. I think 2014 was a fluke.
I’d be worried if I gave up on Calvin Johnson.
I’d be worried if I was a teammate of Greg Hardy.
I’d be worried if I owned any NFC East running back.
I’d be worried if I thought Emmanuel Sanders was all Peyton Manning.
I’d be worried if I own Dion Lewis. I’m still nervous about the stability of his role, not to mention his ability to hold up physically.
I’d be worried if I wasn’t so handsome. But I am. So I’m not.
I’d be worried if I thought Zach Ertz would be a TE1 at some point.
I’d be worried if I owned Duke Johnson or Isiah Crowell.
I’d be worried if I spent three months talking up Brian Quick all over Twitter.
I’d be worried if I owned Brian Quick on nine of 12 dynasty rosters COME ON JEFF FISHER LET THE MAN PLAY%#@!!#@^!
A Look Ahead to Hot Names on the Week Eight Waiver Wire
We like to focus on the lesser names we having mentioned much this season. Ken’s track record (see below) has been pretty good in this space, but don’t tell him I said that.
- Orleans Darkwa, RB NYG
A nearly unheard of running back out of Tulane, the second year player looks to be in line for more work in the coming weeks. He is certainly big enough (5’11”, 215 lbs) and fast enough (4.46 40) to carry the mail, something the Giants seem to agree with.
- Robert Woods, WR BUF
He may not have been on your league’s waiver wire in the first place, and coming into this past weekend he was probably added, but if Woods is still unowned, get on it. He finished last year strong, posting WR3 numbers for a long stretch. If he gets more looks with all the injuries in Buffalo, Woods could be an interesting stash.
- Derek Carrier, TE WAS
I know Ken recommended him last week, but following Reed’s huge game, Carrier may find himself cut in some leagues. If so, snap him up.
- Chris Givens, WR BAL
If Givens had been drafted by the Ravens and Torrey Smith by the Rams (yes, I know they entered the NFL a year apart…this is a hypothetical, so bear with me), isn’t it possible he would be the one with all those long touchdowns from Joe Flacco? Now in an offense with Steve Smith Sr. and a couple sacks of potatoes at wide receiver, we could see the speedster carve out a Smith-like role. I wouldn’t give anything other than a roster spot for him, but there are far worse fliers to stash on the end of your bench.
Previous Suggestions: Brandon LaFell, Derek Carrier, Lance Moore, Albert Wilson, Dion Lewis, James Jones, Travis Benjamin, Darren Fells, Rishard Matthews, Darrius Heyward-Bey, Josh McCown, Antonio Andrews, Michael Vick, Thomas Rawls, Stefon Diggs, Roy Helu, Andre Williams, Chris Thompson, Charcandrick West, Jamison Crowder, Robert Turbin, Tim Wright, Knile Davis, Zach Zenner.
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