The Dynasty Aftermath: Joining the Peloton Family

Ken Kelly

Welcome to DLF’s Dynasty Aftermath. This staple article is our longest running signature piece as we have a little fun after a tough week at the Dynasty League Football office. You’ll find this article will review the week’s happenings in a variety of ways and help set you up for the coming weeks as we spin around the league in the way we know best. Expect it each and every week.

I’ve written this column for over fifteen years and I really do enjoy it. I love combing through the stats of the week, putting together ridiculous lineups, picking MVPs/LVPs and discussing things to worry about.

That’s not all.

I also really love sharing little bits of my life with the community of DLF and picking a theme for this column each week. You really never know what you’re going to get. In fact, I’ll reserve the right to change my theme ideas if something cool happens like my friend peeing their pants at the Goodwill.

This week, I’m going to talk about the Peloton. For those of you who don’t know, it’s basically a piece of exercise equipment you ride and don’t go anywhere, but still feel as if you’re riding to your imminent death.

Let’s start at the beginning.

I’m married to a marathon runner and a triathlete. This has given me a very unique perspective in my life. It’s not about a respect for what she does or me marveling at someone’s ability to run over 26 miles, then continue to actually live and breathe after. It’s actually deeper than that – I understand more than I ever that I don’t ever want to do those things. In fact, I get tired watching and even a little cold and hungry at times. It’s tough on me and I need some empathy – these races are not just about HER, I’m making great sacrifices as well.

As we’ve gotten older, she’s done fewer and fewer of these. This has been a good development for me as I don’t cramp up in my chair watching or find myself with nothing to drink and no place to buy something to quench my thirst. It’s also forced us to buy exercise equipment over the years because she can’t sit still and needs to always be in better shape than I am, which admittedly isn’t tough for many people. She has abs. I don’t. This will never change. I have accepted it.

Enter the Peloton.

We joined “the Peloton family” about four months ago. This includes spending something like $3,000 for a bike that doesn’t have two wheels and a video screen featuring trainers who are ex-Olympians in really good shape who encourage you to become a better person, give you psychiatric advice and encourage you to save the world, if at all possible. I quickly learned what this thing was all about.

The first time the Peloton was used, I didn’t know what was happening. I was in the back of our house and all of a sudden heard really heavy breathing as if someone was being waterboarded in an interrogation in my living room. It was, in fact, my wife on the bike. I was intrigued as I hadn’t seen her have a near death experience before even while racing, so I did the unthinkable and tried it for myself.

The first ride I did was a “scenic ride” that has no trainer and just puts up a scene of your choosing. I chose the Las Vegas strip because it’s one of my favorite places. I can’t go there any time soon because of COVID and I had never really seen it sober before, so it clearly sounded good. The ride was interesting, but I found it totally unrealistic because of the following:

1.) I saw nobody on the strip throwing up or shouting obscenities
2.) There was nobody there handing those little business cards for “a companion”
3.) Nobody tried to hit on me. Now, that doesn’t happen in real life, either.  However, I was hoping for a confidence booster. After all, Peloton is supposed to change your life. Shouldn’t it make me feel more attractive? Total missed opportunity there.

After finishing, my wife decided to have me try a real class. I have to say, this was interesting.  It started out just fine and I was feeling really good about things. However, after the 30-second warm-up, things changed dramatically. In short, you turn up the resistance of the bike and the cadence (speed) to a level that simulates you are either in the Tour De France (without juicing) or have just been hit by a truck and trying to pedal to a hospital while critically injured. To top all this, there is a leaderboard that shows who is on the ride at any time. As if it wasn’t hard enough to finish, you can see a person in their 80s named “Octogenarianrider” or something stupid is trying to beat you. Anyone with a sense of pride won’t let it happen and that just makes things worse, not better as you overdo it to defeat someone you’ll never meet and is laughing at you in a nursing home. After 30 minutes of this, I felt like I was truly part of the Peloton family, which is pretty much like a cult of people who are in better shape than almost anyone on the planet and could bike to the moon if it was possible. If you didn’t know already, they look down on you. Trust me, it’s a thing.

Now, in all truth, it’s a great piece of exercise equipment and it’s been a great purchase. However, be careful. This thing can consume your life and I know you’re competitive or you wouldn’t be here. So, if you have a Peloton, follow me at DLFKENK and I’ll give you a high five the next time I see you. If I don’t, it’s because I’ve had a heart attack during the ride and am on the way for treatment.

So, in honor of the death machine known as the Peloton, let’s look at week one.

Week One Fantasy MVP

As always, there a lot of ways to go with this. I’ll choose Davante Adams, who posted a ridiculous 14/156/2 line on 17 targets. To put that in perspective, Adams is on pace for 272 targets on the year. California has 297 Target stores. I’m going to track this on the year, especially since there aren’t any fantasy football stats that start with Wal-Mart. It’s safe to say he’s going to be in conention for the overall WR1 this season.

Week One Fantasy LVP

It was a brutal week for Michael Thomas, who had just three catches on five targets for 17 yards (4.7 fantasy points). His worst game last season was in week 17, where he had 7.7 fantasy points in a relatively meaningless game. During the fantasy season, his worst outing was 16.9, so this was a shocker. To put a cherry on top, he ended the game with an ankle sprain and is questionable for next week. Perfect. Welcome to 2020.

Lineup Fun

The Unbeatable Lineup of the Week

QB Russell Wilson SEA = 322 passing yards, 29 rushing yards, four touchdowns
RB Josh Jacobs OAK  = 93 rushing yards, four catches, 46 receiving yards, three touchdowns
RB Christian McCaffrey CAR = 96 rushing yards, three catches, 38 receiving yards, two touchdowns
RB Raheem Mostert SF = 56 rushing yards, four catches, 95 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Davante Adams GB = 14 catches, 156 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Calvin Ridley ATL = Nine catches, 130 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Adam Thielen MIN = Six catches, 110 receiving yards, two touchdowns
TE Dallas Goedert PHI = Eight catches, 101 receiving yards, one touchdown

The Underdog Lineup of the Week

QB Mitchell Trubisky CHI = 242 passing yards, 26 rushing yards, three touchdowns
RB Nyheim Hines IND = 28 rushing yards, eight catches, 45 receiving yards, two touchdowns
RB Peyton Barber WAS = 29 rushing yards, two touchdowns
RB Joshua Kelley LAC = 60 rushing yards, one touchdown
WR Russell Gage ATL = Nine catches, 114 receiving yards
WR Marquez Valdes-Scantling GB = Four catches, 96 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Willie Snead BAL = Four catches, 64 receiving yards, one touchdown
TE David Njoku CLE = Three catches, 50 receiving yards, one touchdown

The Disappointing Lineup of the Week

QB Baker Mayfield CLE = 189 passing yards, one touchdown, one interception
RB Leonard Fournette TB = Five rushing yards, one catch, 14 receiving yards
RB Mark Ingram BAL = 29 rushing yards
RB Nick Chubb CLE = 60 rushing yards, one catch, six receiving yards, one fumble
WR Christian Kirk ARI = One catch, zero receiving yards
WR Bryan Edwards LV = One catch, nine receiving yards
WR Trent Taylor SF = Two catches, seven receiving yards
TE Rob Gronkowski TB = Two catches, 11 receiving yards

Gut Checks

I’d be worried if I was freaking out over an average game from Terry McLaurin.

I’d be worried if I was relying on any Houston receiver outside of Will Fuller.

I’d be worried if I owned Larry Fitzgerald. One of the best of all-time, but he’s not helping you much.

I’d be worried if I owned Leonard Fournette. He may eat into the workload of RoJo soon, but it’s no given.

I’d be worried if I was considering a Peloton.

I’d be worried if I owned Bryce Love. A healthy inactive isn’t a good start to his supposed comeback season.

I’d be worried if I was hoping for the breakout from JJ Arcega-Whiteside.

I’d be worried if I owned Nick Chubb. The lowest percentage of team carries he had last year was right around 60%. He had less than 50% in game one.

I’d be worried if I owned Marlon Mack. The list of players coming back from torn achilles tendons is short.

I’d be worried if I tried a 90-minute Peloton ride thinking it was going to be easy.

I’d be worried if I owned Le’Veon Bell.  And you thought LAST YEAR was bad.

I’d be worried if I owned Justin Jackson. It looks like Joshua Kelley is the clear RB2 in Los Angeles.

I’d be worried if I had ignored all the information we’ve had on James Robinson. More on that later.

I’d be worried if I was still doubting Mark Andrews.

I’d be worried if I was counting on Andy Isabella or Christian Kirk.

I’d be worried if I thought the scenic rides on Peloton could replace actual vacations.

I’d be worried if I was building around Baker Mayfield.

I’d be worried if I thought this Gardner Minshew experiment was a joke.

I’d be worried if I owned Matt Breida. He surprisingly worked as the third running back this week.

I’d be worried if I was ignoring the fact David Johnson looked really good this week.

I’d be worried if I was riding against Octogenarianrider.

I’d be worried if I owned Kerryon Johnson. Adrian Peterson just looks better.

I’d be worried if I thought for a second the price to acquire Clyde Edwards-Helaire was too steep.

I’d be worried if I was overreacting to a modest debut from Antonio Gibson.

I’d be worried if I was just ignoring Allen Lazard.

I’d be worried if I didn’t think Chase Edmonds could help me win if Kenyan Drake ever went down.

I’d be worried if I thought I could escape the Peloton after I start.  Those shoes lock you in.  I’ve tried.

I’d be worried if I was ignoring the quick emergence of Laviska Shenault.

I’d be worried if I was counting on early production from Ke’Shawn Vaughn, Tyler Johnson or Van Jefferson.

I’d be worried if I thought this performance from Dallas Goedert was a fluke.

I’d be worried if I thought Darius Slayton wasn’t legit. He has more touchdowns since week five of last season than anyone.

I’d be worried if I thought Boston Scott was a realistic threat to Miles Sanders.

I’d be worried if I thought Jerry Jeudy was going to continue dropping passes.

I’d be worried if I thought Corey Davis was going to outscore AJ Brown this season.

I’d be worried if I owned Phillip Lindsay. Turf toe injuries can linger.

I’d be worried if I still didn’t think Raheem Mostert was the best option in the 49ers backfield.

I’d be worried if I was married to someone who used to run marathons.

I’d be worried if I didn’t think Kyler Murray was the real deal.

I’d be worried if I owned Mark Ingram. Uh oh.

I’d be worried if I was starting OBJ. I don’t even know what to say.

I’d be worried if I owned Baker Mayfield. I guess I’ll say that.

I’d be worried if I didn’t seriously consider using the dual cupholders on the Peloton for beer.

I’d be worried if I owned Austin Ekeler. LA is on record saying the running backs aren’t going to be that involved in the passing game.

I’d be worried if I wasn’t selling high on Sammy Watkins.

I’d be worried if I owned James Conner. He made it a quarter and a half and that even felt successful.

Fun With Numbers

Christian McCaffrey is on pace for 1,536 rushing yards, 48 catches, 608 receiving yards and 32 touchdowns, yet his owners are upset.

Clyde Edwards-Helaire is on pace for 2,208 rushing yards.

Josh Jacobs is on pace for 1,488 rushing yards, 64 receptions, 736 receiving yards and 48 touchdowns.

JK Dobbins is on pace for just 352 rushing yards, but he’d save his season with his projected 32 touchdowns.

Davante Adams, Adam Thielen, JuJu Smith-Schuster, Calvin Ridley and Darius Slayton are on pace for 32 touchdowns each.

Julio Jones is on pace for 2,512 receiving yards and that would beat Davante Adams, who is on target for 2,496.

Davante Adams and DeAndre Hopkins are on pace for 224 catches. Take THAT Michael Thomas!

Dallas Goedert is on pace for a 128/1,616/16 season. I think that would make him a TE1.

Matt Ryan is on pace for 7,200 passing yards. That would be a record likely not broken for a while.

Russell Wilson and Aaron Rodgers are on pace to combine for 128 touchdowns with no interceptions.

Saquon Barkley is on pace for 96 rushing yards. I’d put my money on him surpassing that.

Leonard Fournette is on pace for 80 rushing yards. I think he’ll surpass that!?!

Michael Thomas is on pace for 272 receiving yards. He’ll be fine.

….and finally

Tom Brady is projected to have 3,824 passing yards with 32 touchdowns and 32 interceptions. Jameis Winston had 5,109 passing yards, 33 touchdowns and 3o interceptions last season. Just sayin’.

Rookie Report

Just because this installment of the Aftermath is already Peloton workout-sized, let’s talk about the rookie performances, based on our rankings. The BIGGEST PIECE OF ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU THIS WEEK IS TO NOT PANIC AND NOT TYPE IN ALL CAPS UNLESS YOU MEAN IT.

1.) Clyde Edwards-Helaire, RB KC (138 rushing yards, one touchdown)
In short, he did nothing to make us think he’s not the clear-cut, no brainer 1.01 this year.

2.) Jonathan Taylor, RB IND (22 rushing yards, six receptions, 67 receiving yards)
The big news for Taylor is the fact Marlon Mack is out for the season. Taylor is going to get his shot earlier than expected, though Nyheim Hines is going to get work.

3.) CeeDee Lamb, WR DAL (Five catches, 59 receiving yards)
The stats weren’t anything to write home about, but you can see his athleticism translates.

4.) JK Dobbins, RB BAL (22 rushing yards, two touchdowns)
He shared time with the other backs, but you can tell his time is coming sooner, rather than later.

5.) D’Andre Swift, RB DET (Eight rushing yards, one touchdown)
He had the play of the day, but it was a dropped game winning pass. Swift has a long way to go before he passes anyone on the depth chart. The potential is there, but owners are going to need to be more patient than they initially thought.

6.) Jerry Jeudy, WR DEN (Four catches, 56 receiving yards)
He had some bad drops, but was otherwise fine. He may not pass Courtland Sutton this season, but his talent jumps off the screen.

7.) Cam Akers, RB LAR (39 rushing yards)
Akers got the start, but was really outplayed by Malcolm Brown. There’s certainly no need to panic here. However, much like Swift, his owners are going to need to exhibit some patience.

8.) Justin Jefferson, WR MIN (Two catches, 26 receiving yards)
A quiet opener for Jefferson, though he did flash at times.

9.) Jalen Reagor, WR PHI (One catch, 59 receiving yards)
Made a beautiful long catch, but was otherwise quiet as his quarterback was bludgeoned.

10.) Henry Ruggs, WR LV (Three catches, 55 receiving yards)
After all the talk about Bryan Edwards this off-season, Ruggs clearly looked like the better player this week.

11.) Tee Higgins, WR CIN (No catches)
Higgins was nowhere to be found this week. We’ll see if this is a trend.

12.) Antonio Gibson, RB WAS (36 rushing yards, two catches, eight receiving yards)
Peyton Barber isn’t going away, and this was a disappointing opener from Gibson. His future is bright, but he may not be lineup-worthy for a few weeks.

13.) Michael Pittman, WR IND (Two catches, 10 receiving yards)
He played a little better than the line indicates. It’s clear the Colts will get him involved.

14.) Laviska Shenault, WR JAX (Three catches, 37 receiving yards, one touchdown)
It’s a jam-packed receiving corps in Jacksonville, but Shenault looks really good early.

15.) Denzel Mims, WR NYJ (Still out with an injury)
Tick. Tock.

16.) Brandon Aiyuk, WR SF (Inactive with an injury)
Hopefully back this week.

17.) Bryan Edwards, WR LV (One catch, nine yards)
A really disappointing week one for Edwards. We’ll hope for more on Monday night.

18.) Zack Moss, RB BUF (11 rushing yards, three catches, 16 receiving yards)
The stats don’t tell the story as it looks like Moss is going to get the money carries and could overtake Devin Singletary sooner, rather than later.

19.) Joe Burrow, QB CIN (193 passing yards, one interception)
He gave himself a “D,” but you can see he’s going to be a really solid quarterback.

20.) AJ Dillon, RB GB (14 rushing yards)
It’s apparent he’s not going to get much action with Aaron Jones healthy. The key to his future is really hinging on Jones signing an extension or leaving as a free agent.

Other notable players…

Chase Claypool made a really nice catch along the sidelines and looks like a nice developmental project.

Joshua Kelley made a huge impression and could be earning the Melvin Gordon role in Los Angeles. He had 12 carries for 60 yards and a score.

James Robinson was the only running back to have 100% of his team’s carries. While he could flame out, DLF readers are serious winners as we’ve been tooting his horn for a while. Like here as he was our Summer Sleeper back in July, here as one of our UDFA choices back in April, here when Leonard Fournette left, here in our Rookie Value Check, and even here right before the games on Sunday. I don’t do that to simply compare our site to others, but I’m very proud of the crew we have and the commitment they have to put you in position to win. Some people are acting like his emergence was some type of secret.  It WASN’T!

See you next week.  I have a bike to ride!

ken kelly