The Dynasty Aftermath: The Time a Ford F-150 Tried to Play Centerfield
Editor’s Note: What a weird week. As you know, this week’s games went from Thanksgiving all the way through a Wednesday matinee, throwing our whole content schedule out of whack for the week. In the future, just expect to see the Dynasty Aftermath as alwyas within one or two days after the final game of the previous week. Hopefully things settle down, but I have my doubts!
Welcome to DLF’s Dynasty Aftermath. This staple article is our longest running signature piece as we have a little fun after a tough week at the Dynasty League Football office. You’ll find this article will review the week’s happenings in a variety of ways and help set you up for the coming weeks as we spin around the league in the way we know best. Expect it each and every week.
I’ve written this column for over fifteen years and I really do enjoy it. I love combing through the stats of the week, putting together ridiculous lineups, picking MVPs/LVPs and discussing things to worry about.
That’s not all.
I also really love sharing little bits of my life with the community of DLF and picking a theme for this column each week. You really never know what you’re going to get. In fact, I’ll reserve the right to change my theme ideas if something cool happens like my friend peeing their pants at the Goodwill. If you missed one this year, click below:
Week One: The time I ordered The Peloton
Week Two: The time I went Vegan
Week Three: The time I went snowboarding without a Sherpa
Week Four: The time I found my Lack of Mystical Kung-Fu Powers
Week Five: The time my Mom thought she was going to prison for Bootlegging
Week Six: The time my Cousin’s friend turned into Lee Harvey Oswald
Week Seven: The Time I turned into Ben Matlock in Juvenile Court
Week Eight: Election Day
Week Nine: A Tribute to Alex Trebek
Week Ten: The time my Cousin got his Head stuck at the Bowling Alley
Week Eleven: A Thanksgiving Tribute
I could honestly devote an entire year’s worth of stories dedicated to my best friend growing up and the disastrous and hilarious situations we somehow found ourselves in growing up. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s what I’m going to do next year. After all, you can learn a lot of fantasy football lessons from lemon juice in squirt guns, cows getting hit with golf balls, dead bodies, small store robberies, lawnmowers, threatened suicide due to a lack of a Ken Griffey, Jr. rookie card, and anthills engulfed in fire…but those are all for a different day.
Today, I just have to share one of my favorite stories, though. When I went for a walk the other day (yes, we’re human and don’t write 24 hours a day), I saw a guardrail that had been trashed and tire tracks leading down towards our lake. I immediately thought that person had obviously had a bad day, but also thought of an event I hadn’t thought of in years and just how it relates to fantasy football. You know, because that’s what I do.
Like most of my stories, it all started in a small country town. My best friend Jason had a giant backyard we converted into a baseball field every Summer. We mowed the grass, had bases marked by certain trees and even had an old wooden fence that was just the right distance for a wiffle ball home run. We would grab “Big Red” (the wiffle ball bat that was wrapped in duct tape) and crank out hours and hours of wiffle ball games every day during the Summer. This would usually end in an epic game of “Hide from Cars,” but that’s for another week.
Jason’s older brother Bill would rarely play with us young kids because he felt it was more of a waste of time. After all, why should he come downstairs and play with us when he could talk to his girlfriend on the phone or organize his vast cologne collection? However, one day we convinced him to play and it was one of the highlights of our Summer as Bill could crank out the home runs like nobody’s business.
The makeshift field was located right at the bottom of Fish Pond Road, which was a steep, hilly road often used as there were many homes up at the top. Bill was at the plate facing the road, Jason was pitching and the rest of us (the cousins were always up for a game) were all in the outfield. Bill used ghost runners because, again, he was too cool to run.
The first pitch to Bill landed on Old Pacific Highway, well beyond on the fence and right where Fish Pond Road connected. The second pitch landed on the roof of the house across the street. The third in a pine tree about 75 yards away. It was 3-0. Like I said, he could crank them out.
The fourth pitch was the one to remember.
Jason curled the wiffle ball with hand, pulled it back with all his might and threw it as hard as he could towards his big brother. Bill froze, looking beyond the distance as the pitch flew by him right down the middle. We were shocked and started yelling. Jason had struck out Bill! It was a miracle!
Then we heard it.
The honking sound came first as a Ford F-150 was barreling out of control down Fish Pond Road. Bill had spotted it first as he was the only one who didn’t have his back turned. The rest of us froze until we realized the truck was out of control and had no brakes. It flew through the intersection, obliterated the wood fence and left all of us running and diving for cover as the driver had lost the ability to stop. We were all safe.
All except Jason.
What happened next I’ll never forget. You never know what you’re going to do in a situation like this until it happens and his response was something I’ll have etched in my mind until the day I leave this Earth. He turned around, looked the driver in right in the eye, covered his nuts with both hands and just screamed, holding as still as a statue as Caesar’s Palace. The driver was able to maneuver around him, avoid the dropoff on the backyard, clip the house on the side and come to a stop in a pile of ivy and hedges.
I will never forget that day for two reasons. First, we were extremely lucky nobody was hurt or killed. Second, when it comes to traumatic events, sometimes you just have to use both hands, protect yourself and hope for the best.
In terms of fantasy football, COVID-19 is taking its toll on the league. Prepare yourself as best you can, cover your privates and hope you don’t get run over.
Let’s do it…and just for fun, you should listen to this below as you read.
Week Twelve Fantasy MVP
Tyreek Hill had a nice month this past Sunday by somehow tallying 13 catches for 269 yards and three touchdowns (57.9 points in most PPR leagues). To put that into perspective, his output this week is more than Phillip Lindsay, Kerryon Johnson, Alexander Mattison, Benny Snell, Lamical Perine, Cam Akers, Mark Ingram, Sony Michel, Le’Veon Bell, Devonta Freeman, Matt Breida, Salvon Ahmed, Adam Humphries, Jalen Reagor, N’Keal Harry, Michael Thomas, Denzel Mims, Antonio Brown, DeSean Jackson, Kenny Stills, Bryan Edwards, Trent Taylor, and Parris Campbell have all season.
Week Twelve Fantasy LVP
When can have six catches for 171 yards and two touchdowns on Thanksgiving and still be the LVP? Well, it’s when your name is Will Fuller and you find yourself suspended for the rest of the season just when dynasty owners thought they could count on you. This is a major buzzkill.
The Unbeatable Lineup of the Week
QB Deshaun Watson HOUÂ = 318 passing yards, 24 rushing yards, four touchdowns
RB Derrick Henry TEN = 178 rushing yards, two catches, seven receiving yards, three touchdowns
RB James Robinson JAXÂ = 128 rushing yards, five catches, 31 receiving yards, one touchdown
RB Antonio Gibson WASÂ = 115 rushing yards, five catches, 21 receiving yards, three touchdowns
WR Tyreek Hill KCÂ = 13 catches, 269 receiving yards, three touchdowns
WR Will Fuller = Six catches, 171 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Jarvis Landry CLEÂ = Eight catches, 143 receiving yards, one touchdown
TE Dallas Goedert PHIÂ = Seven catches, 75 receiving yards, one touchdown
The Underdog Lineup of the Week
QB Kirk Cousins MINÂ = 307 passing yards, three touchdowns
RB Latavius Murray NOÂ = 124 rushing yards, two touchdowns
RB David Montgomery CHIÂ = 103 rushing yards, five catches, 40 receiving yards, one touchdown
RB Kenyan Drake ARIÂ = 78 rushing yards, three catches, 15 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Collin Johnson JAXÂ = Four catches, 96 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Marquise Brown BALÂ = Four catches, 85 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR TY Hilton INDÂ = Four catches, 81 receiving yards, one touchdown
TE Robert Tonyan GBÂ = Five catches, 67 receiving yards, one touchdown
The Disappointing Lineup of the Week
QB Jared Goff LAR = 198 passing yards, two interceptions
RB Ezekiel Elliott DALÂ = 32 rushing yards, one catch, seven receiving yards, another fumble
RB Phillip Lindsay DENÂ = 20 rushing yards
RB Melvin Gordon DENÂ = 31 rushing yards
WR Darius Slayton NYG = No catches
WR Antonio Brown TBÂ = Two catches, 11 receiving yards
WR Travis Fulgham PHI = Two catches, 16 receiving yards
TE Darren Waller LVÂ = Four catches, 23 receiving yards
Gut Checks
I’d be worried if I owned Josh Jacobs.
I’d be worried if I was counting on Julio Jones the next couple of weeks.
I’d be worried if I thought Carlos Hyde was going to get that workload again.
I’d be worried if I was counting on Josh Jacobs this week.
I’d be worried if I was starting any Chargers running back other than Austin Ekeler moving forward.
I’d be worried if I didn’t wear a cup when playing wiffle ball.
I’d be worried if I owned Aaron Jones. The timeshare is maddening.
I’d be worried if I thought James Robinson was going to be a one year wonder.
I’d be worried if I thought Zach Ertz was somehow going to be 2019 Ertz right away.
I’d be worried if I was still holding out hope this year for AJ Green.
I’d be worried if I was playing Tyreek Hill.
I’d be worried if I was expecting consistency from the Steelers receivers.
I’d be worried if I owned James Conner. He’s just faded, regardless of COVID.
I’d be worried if I wasn’t looking to move Kenyan Drake this off-season.
I’d be worried if I was a non-contender and didn’t move my veterans.
I’d be worried if I thought I knew what was going to happen in the Miami backfield this week.
I’d be worried if I was overreacting to Tua Tagovailoa not playing.
I’d be worried if I ever benched DK Metcalf.
I’d be worried if I owned Will Fuller.
I’d be worried if I didn’t notice a glimmer of hope from Cam Akers.
I’d be worried if I passed on Justin Jefferson.
I’d be worried if I was expecting consistency from anyone in the Tampa offense.
I’d be worried if I was counting on Kenny Golladay this season.
I’d be worried if I owned Dalvin Cook. He’s started to get a little dinged up here.
I’d be worried if I owned Alvin Kamara. He’s not the same without Drew Brees at the helm.
I’d be worried if I owned Melvin Gordon. He’s just not a dynamic player.
I’d be worried if I’m underestimating Raheem Mostert.
I’d be worried if I am still counting on Marvin Jones.
I’d be worried if I owned Kyler Murray. He’s fantastic, but looks a little worn down at the moment.
I’d be worried if I was counting on Trevor Lawrence being a Jet.
The top scoring rookies through week Twelve
I’m adding the scoring change from week-to-week so you can see how each performance is affecting their averages – this could help you in determining any buy or sell opportunities.
1.) Justin Herbert QB LAC = 27.45 (-0.73)
2.) Joe Burrow QB CIN = 21.37 (No change)
3.) James Robinson RB JAX = 18.45 (+0.84)
4.) Antonio Gibson RB WAS = 16.92 (+1.97)
5.) Justin Jefferson WR MIN = 16.53 (+0.95)
6.) Tua Tagovailoa QB MIA = 16.17 (No change)
7.) Chase Claypool WR PIT = 15.35 (+0.41)
8.) Brandon Aiyuk WR SF = 14.56 (No change)
9.) D’Andre Swift RB DET = 14.18 (No change)
10.) Clyde Edwards-Helaire RB KC = 13.87 (-0.90)
11.) CeeDee Lamb WR DAL = 13.50 (-0.64)
12.) Jake Luton QB JAX = 13.50 (No change)
13.) Tee Higgins WR CIN = 13.46 (+0.19)
14.) Jonathan Taylor RB IND = 12.45 (No change)
15.) Salvon Ahmed RB MIA = 10.73 (No change)
16.) Jerry Jeudy WR DEN = 9.80 (-0.99)
17.) Denzel Mims WR NYJ = 9.08 (+0.41)
18.) Laviska Shenault WR JAX = 8.94 (-0.27)
19.) Zack Moss RB BUF = 8.92 (No change)
20.) JK Dobbins RB BAL = 8.53 (No change)
Notable players not in the top 20 of rookie scorers: Michael Pittman (8.39), Jalen Reagor (8.30), Darnell Mooney (8.05), Joshua Kelley (7.55), Gabriel Davis (7.40), Henry Ruggs (6.51), Cam Akers (5.13), Bryan Edwards (3.01), Ke’Shawn Vaughn (2.88).
The Rookie Top 20
Always check our latest rankings to see the updates through the week. I take these from the rankers who input their information the quickest after the end of the week.Â
1.) CeeDee Lamb, WR DALÂ (Five catches, 21 receiving yards) (Previous Ranking: 1)
We’ve seen enough of Lamb to know he’s a great prospect. However, the gap between Lamb and Jefferson is dwindling.
2.) Clyde Edwards-Helaire, RB KC (37 rushing yards, two receiving yards) (2)
Another day at the office for CEH who is seemingly good, but hasn’t been great very often.
3.) JK Dobbins, RB BAL (DNP) (3)
He has a great chance to emerge in the next few weeks.
4.) Justin Jefferson, WR MIN () (6)
When you have almost 300 yards, 28 targets and three touchdowns the past three weeks, you tend to climb the rankings.
5.) D’Andre Swift, RB DET (DNP) (4)
Hopefully back this week, but it doesn’t seem to be a given.
6.) Jonathan Taylor, RB IND (DNP) (5)
He had just started to come on before the COVID-19 diagnosis last week. Should be back in action this week.
7.) James Robinson, RB JAX (128 rushing yards, five catches, 31 receiving yards, one touchdown) (9)
If he was drafted in the first or second round of the NFL Draft, he’d be the 1.01 on this list. To me, that’s just a fact based on his production.
8.) Jerry Jeudy, WR DEN (No catches) (8)
Hard to pin last week’s performance on Jeudy. You just have to move on.
9.) Tee Higgins, WR CIN (Five catches, 44 yards, one touchdown) (8)
The fact he’s still valuable without Burrow speaks volumes about his talent.
10.) Chase Claypool WR PIT (Six catches, 52 receiving yards) (10)
He was somehow able to post his eighth double-digit fantasy performance of the year, even without a touchdown.
11.) Antonio Gibson, RB WAS (115 rushing yards, five catches, 21 receiving yards, three touchdowns) (11)
He had his official coming out party on Thanksgiving when he feasted on the Cowboys instead of turkey.
12.) Brandon Aiyuk, WR SF (DNP) (14)
Still undervalued in my mind.
13.) Cam Akers, RB LAR (84 rushing yards, one touchdown) (NR)
Finally.
14.) Jalen Reagor, WR PHI (Three catches, 11 receiving yards) (13)
Better luck next year when you hopefully have a functional offense.
15.) Henry Ruggs, WR LV (Three catches, 56 receiving yards) (12)
More of the same from Ruggs. He has talent, but they have yet to really figure things out with him.
16.) Laviska Shenault, WR JAX (Three catches, 31 receiving yards) (16)
Has a lot of talent and has been a bit underutilized so far this year. He could be an off-season buy target.
17.) Justin Herbert, QB LAC (316 passing yards, one touchdown, one interception) (19)
He didn’t have his best outing this week, but we’ve seen enough.
18.) Joe Burrow, QB CIN (213 passing yards, one touchdown) (17)
Lucky that injury wasn’t actually worse. They should be targeting OL early and often this Spring.
19.) Michael Pittman, WR IND (Two catches, 28 receiving yards) (18)
He still looks like the best receiver on the Colts.
20.) Denzel Mims WR NYJÂ (Four catches, 67 receiving yards)
Amazing any player can do anything within the explosive Adam Gase offense.
Ken is on Twitter at DLF_KenK
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