The Dynasty Aftermath: Eastbound and Down

Ken Kelly

Welcome to DLF’s Dynasty Aftermath. This staple article is our longest running signature piece as we have a little fun after a tough week at the Dynasty League Football office. You’ll find this article will review the week’s happenings in a variety of ways and help set you up for the coming weeks as we spin around the league in the way we know best. Expect it each and every week.

I’ve written this column for nearly fifteen years and I really do enjoy it. I love combing through the stats of the week, putting together ridiculous lineups, picking MVPs/LVPs and discussing things to worry about.

That’s not all.

I also really love sharing little bits of my life with the community of DLF and picking a theme for this column each week. This year, I’ve started out focusing on TV shows and movies that are stream-worthy out there. If you’ve missed any, here are some previous versions:

The Office
The Last Man on Earth
Ode to Ron Swanson
“I’ve made a Huge Mistake”
Finkle and Einhorn
“Going to my Quiet Place”
“The Hangover”
“The Dude”
“The Iron Lotus”

As we come upon week twelve, lots of dynasty teams sit with records around 6-5, staring at mediocrity. As I run down my different rosters, I get pretty excited as I think I’m position for some great comebacks over the next few weeks. And when I think of comebacks, there’s only one man who pops into my mind – Kenny Powers.  In honor of one of the best streaming series of all-time, let’s go with Eastbound and Down this week. As a side note, I spent literally three hours attempting to find clips from the show that weren’t massively offensive in terms of language.  It proved to be one of the biggest challenges of my life. Three hours, people…that tells you all you need to know about this show.

With all that in mind, it’s time to start thinking comebacks!

Week Eleven Fantasy MVP

It’s really far past the time where we need to define the season John Brown is having as anything but amazing. This week, Brown posted nine catches for 137 yards and two touchdowns. On the season, Brown now has 56 catches for 817 yards and four touchdowns. The Bills schedule gets tougher here soon, but Brown has proven to be very reliable and a WR2 at the very least moving forward. He’s been a great surprise in dynasty leagues all season.

Week Eleven Fantasy LVP

The Steelers made it sound all week as if James Conner was back to full health. Instead, he had just five carries for ten yards before calling quits on the night due to his ailing shoulder. This stinker was a massive blow to dynasty teams everywhere as it seemed as if Conner was going to be on the field for a juicy matchup against Cleveland. To make matters worse, it seems Pittsburgh wasn’t exactly truthful on the injury report and that left owners with no clue the shoulder was still a problem.

In short, his appearance was met with a reaction like that seen below. Conner entered the game with a bang, but the end result was not what we all hoped for.

Lineup Fun

The Unbeatable Lineup of the Week
A true celebration of skill

QB Lamar Jackson BAL  = 222 passing yards, 86 rushing yards, four touchdowns
RB The Dude CAR = 70 rushing yards, 14 catches, 70 receiving yards
RB Mark Ingram BAL = 48 rushing yards, three catches, 37 receiving yards, two touchdowns
RB Alvin Kamara BAL = 75 rushing yards, ten catches, 47 receiving yards
WR John Brown BUF = Nine catches, 137 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR DJ Chark JAX = Eight catches, 104 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Calvin Ridley ATL = Eight catches, 143 receiving yards, one touchdown
TE Travis Kelce KC = Seven catches, 92 receiving yards, one touchdown

The Underdog Lineup of the Week
It may not look good, but it felt good.

QB Jimmy Garoppolo SF = 424 passing yards, four touchdowns, two interceptions
RB Tony Pollard DAL = 12 rushing yards, four catches, 44 receiving yards, one touchdown
RB Jonathan Williams IND = 116 rushing yards, one catch, 31 receiving yards
RB Bo Scarbrough DET = 55 rushing yards, one touchdown
WR Jakeem Grant MIA  = Three catches, 32 receiving yards, two total touchdowns
WR Kendrick Bourne SF  = Four catches, 31 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Marcus Johnson IND = Four catches, 38 receiving yards, one touchdown
TE Ryan Griffin NYJ = Five catches, 109 receiving yards, one touchdown

The Disappointing Lineup of the Week
Just when you think you’ve got it, you failed yet again.

QB Deshaun Watson HOU  = 169 passing yards, one interception, one lost fumble
RB Alexander Mattison MIN = Five rushing yards
RB James Conner PIT = Ten rushing yards, one catch, six receiving yards
RB Ronald Jones TB = 13 rushing yards, two catches, one receiving yard
WR Tyler Boyd CIN = One catch, ten receiving yards
WR Mohamed Sanu NE = One catch, eight receiving yards
WR Mecole Hardman KC = Two catches, 13 receiving yards
TE OJ Howard TB = One bobbled ball that was intercepted

Gut Checks

I’d be worried if I had Alvin Kamara as my RB1. He’s been good, but not great this season.

I’d be worried if I didn’t read this while listening to Jerry Reed above.

I’d be worried if I owned Marlon Mack. This is going to be a few weeks.

I’d be worried if I thought that was anything more than a blip on the radar for Kenny Golladay.

I’d be worried if I owned Nick Chubb. He’s safe as an asset, but those passes aren’t coming his way.

I’d be worried if I owned DaeSean Hamilton. This has been a disaster.

I’d be worried if I owned Ezekiel Elliott. Does anyone else feel like he’s just not the same this season?

I’d be worried if I owned Saquon Barkley. He’s banged up and working for everything he gets at the moment.

I’d be worried if I was hoping for consistency from Stefon Diggs.

I’d be worried if I thought Sammy Watkins was anything but, well, Sammy Watkins.

I’d be worried if I wasn’t paying attention to how good DJ Chark has been this season.

I’d be worried if I was relying on any Eagles running back at the moment.

I’d be worried if I owned Ronald Jones. Just when it started looking good, too.

I’d be worried if I had given up on DeVante Parker. Just when I thought it was over.

I’d be worried if I was still looking for the big KeeSean Johnson breakout this year.

I’d be worried if I owned Philip Rivers. This could be the end.

I’d be worried if I was relying on Sony Michel.

I’d be worried if I owned David Johnson.

I’d be worried if I was playing against Michael Thomas.

I’d be worried if I was ignoring what could be the last window to buy Deebo Samuel.

I’d be worried if I didn’t buy shares of Alexander Mattison.

I’d be worried if I shopped for a BMW at any place other than Ashley Schaeffer BMW.  WOOOO!

Best Printable Kenny Powers Quotes

On the subject of triathlons: “I play real sports. I’m not trying to be the best at exercising.”

On his weaknesses: “So people often ask me, Kenny, what are your weaknesses? Do you have any? I would say that my biggest flaw, my Achilles heel, is my tireless work ethic.”

On the fundamentals: “Fundamentals are the crutch for the talentless.”

On life after retirement: “Kenny Powers is just like everyone else: normal, not special; no hopes or dreams; pretending to be happy when he’s really super sad. Just an average guy, with exceptional hair. Nothing more, nothing less.”

On raising a toddler: “Toby, what do you want from me? I’ve been super cool to you. I’ve given you a bowl of Chex Mix and some water. Why are you making curses upon me? If I give you a toy, will that erase the curse?”

On alpha males: “In most of nature, the alpha is the strongest of the pack. Creature of immense strength, large in size, a leader from birth, hippos, bumblebees, Wayans brothers — most of the time, they just look to the biggest amongst them.”

On America: “Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism.”

On life’s troubles: “If there’s one thing I hate it’s losing. If there’s two things I hate it it’s losing and getting cancer.”

On fame and fortune: “The humongous part about being a celebrity is cashing in on it– making tons of money, having expensive, luxurious things. That way, in case one day you’re not famous, you can still be rich and better than everyone around you.”

On status: “Oh, what do I know? I know that one of us had their own personal stylist and one of us shoplifts from Fashion Bug. That’s what I know.”

On the past: “I’ve had a lot of memories and sometimes I have to dump the small ones to make room for the bigger ones. But sometimes, when you try to dump the smaller ones, you think they’re gone but they’re not. They’re sitting there, waiting to pick up exactly where they left off. No matter if there are new memories standing in their way or not.”

Go make those comebacks!

ken kelly