The Dynasty Aftermath: The Time I saw a Guy go Over a Wall into Nachos

Ken Kelly Posted On October 16, 2018

Welcome to DLF’s Dynasty Aftermath. This staple article is our longest running signature piece as we have a little fun after a tough week at the Dynasty League Football office. You’ll find this article will review the week’s happenings in a variety of ways and help set you up for the coming weeks as we spin around the league in the way we know best. Expect it each and every week.

I’ve written this column for over a decade and I always forget how much I truly enjoy it. I love combing through the stats of the week, putting together ridiculous lineups, finding waiver wire gems, picking MVPs/LVPs and discussing things to worry about.

That’s not all.

I also really love sharing little bits of my life with the community of DLF and picking a theme for this column each week. This year, I’m going off the rails a bit. I’m not just exclusively choosing movies or TV shows and sticking with them. I’m simply picking something relevant, wacky or whatever may come into my mind each given week. My hope is each week will at least be interesting in some way and hopefully make you laugh a few times along the way.

“You go when I and only I say Green Light. You stop when I say Red Light, 1-2-3. To be victorious in this game of Red Light, Green Light, you must roll through these two cones, conveniently marked one and two without rumbling, bumbling, stumbling, falling or crawling. Do not hit the snack bar wall or the sound booth wall. If you hit either of those two aforementioned walls, you’ll be sent back to the back wall by my judge, Justin.”

When I was sixteen, I got my first job at the local SkateWorld as a DJ and skate guard and those words never left me.

I’ll pause while you put channel your jealousy.

I loved my job and spent my high school years playing songs like “It’s Tricky,” facilitating the Hokey Pokey and telling parents they couldn’t skate while carrying their toddlers. It was awesome and I still actually miss those days. Unfortunately, my skating rink has closed and still doing that job would make me look more like a sex offender than someone cool at my age.

One of my favorite memories came on a nondescript Sunday. We had a packed house, but it was otherwise a normal day. Folks were skating around, the cotton candy machine was functioning, pickle popsicles were being eaten, kids were sneaking into rooms to make out, video games were eating quarters. It was all good.

And then it happened.

We’ve all seen competitive people in our lives, but I met a man who I believe may actually set the bar. In “Red Light, Green Light,” you basically do just like the instructions above say. You go when I say “Green Light” and stop when I say “Red Light 1-2-3.” I always started the game by saying “Green Light” and letting people get close to the end before quickly saying, “Red Light 1-2-3.” There’s never enough time to stop and everyone has to go back to the back wall and start over because of how fast I said it. It usually got some laughs and had people warmed up for the game.

Enter the unusual Sunday and a plastic tray of nachos.

The ultra-comptetive man lined up with everyone and I didn’t think much of it at first. However, after I said “Green Light,” the wheels on this dude’s rental skates started chugging at a massive pace. His hair was on fire and he wanted to beat those eight year old kids who simply showed up for some crappy cake and a pee-sample sized coke in the birthday room. As he got close to the cones, I said “Red Light 1-2-3” and will never forget what happened next. He stood straight up, looked me straight in the eyes and rolled through the cones…without slowing down even a touch. He must have been going 30 miles an hour. I froze as I watched him hit the back wall, flip over the top on to a table full of nachos and on to the red disco carpet. He looked up, probably after suffering a concussion, saw himself covered in liquid cheese, and looked up at the stunned Mom who was left holding a single tortilla chip in shock. He then stared up at me with a straight face and said something I’ll never forget… “Did I win?” I gave him an ice pack and a free ice cream cone. He left with pride.

So, what does this have to do with fantasy football. Well, it’s easy. Keep things in perspective. We all want to do well but don’t sell out to win this season and have fun playing the game. Winning isn’t everything, gang.

With that, let’s review week six.

Week Six Fantasy MVP

The Giants have been really hard to watch. However, Saquon Barkley has been everything we all expected this season. On Thursday night, Barkley was the New York offense with 130 rushing yards, nine catches, 99 receiving yards and one touchdown. After six weeks, Barkley has shown to be as consistent a player in fantasy as you could hope for with more than 20 points per game in PPR leagues in each and every contest. There may be a few players ahead of him in dynasty leagues, but that list seems to be growing shorter by the week.

Week Six Fantasy LVP

After a blistering start to the season, Cooper Kupp was cleared from his concussion and fully expected to return to form against the Broncos. Unfortunately, he carried the ball one time for 12 yards, failed to record a catch and was injured in the game. Bummer.

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Lineup Fun

We’re adding something fun again this week! Our own Ryan McDowell had a great suggestion this year. If you fielded any of the lineups below, let us know and you’ll get a free three months of DLF Premium. We just need the league ID and a screenshot to verify and you’re off an running. The first three to respond would win!

The Green Light Unbeatable Lineup of the Week

QB Jameis Winston TB = 395 passing yards, 31 rushing yards, four touchdowns
RB Saquon Barkley NYG = 130 rushing yards, nine receptions, 99 receiving yards, one touchdown
RB Todd Gurley LAR = 208 rushing yards, two receptions, 17 receiving yards, two touchdowns
RB Melvin Gordon LAC = 132 rushing yards, two receptions, 18 receiving yards, three touchdowns
WR Tyreek Hill KC = Seven receptions, 142 receiving yards, three touchdowns
WR Adam Thielen MIN = 11 receptions, 123 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Alshon Jeffery PHI = Eight receptions, 74 receiving yards, two touchdowns
TE Zach Ertz PHI = Seven catches, 43 receiving yards, one touchdown

The “Shoot the Duck” Underdog Lineup of the Week

QB Dak Prescott DAL = 183 passing yards, 82 rushing yards, three touchdowns
RB Latavius Murray MIN = 155 rushing yards, one reception, three receiving yards, one touchdown
RB Tarik Cohen CHI = 31 rushing yards, seven receptions, 90 receiving yards, one touchdown
RB Peyton Barber TB = 82 rushing yards, four receptions, 24 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Albert Wilson MIA = Six receptions, 155 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Cole Beasley DAL = Nine receptions, 101 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Tyrell Williams LAC = Three receptions, 118 receiving yards, two touchdowns
TE Austin Hooper ATL = Nine catches, 71 receiving yards, one touchdown

The Red Light Disappointing Lineup of the Week

QB Derek Carr OAK = 142 passing yards, 31 rushing yards
RB Royce Freeman DEN = 22 rushing yards
RB Dion Lewis TEN = Nine rushing yards, two receptions, five receiving yards
RB Carlos Hyde CLE = 34 rushing yards
WR Cooper Kupp LAR = 12 rushing yards, no catches
WR Amari Cooper OAK = No catches
WR Jordy Nelson OAK = Two catches, six receiving yards
TE Geoff Swaim DAL = Two catches, 21 receiving yards

Gut Checks

I’d be worried if I had Le’Veon Bell. Nobody knows what’s going to happen here but it seems James Conner has earned at least some type of role moving forward.

I’d be worried if I was starting Corey Davis. The Titans are dreadful.

I’d be worried if I thought Julio Jones was going to go all season without a touchdown.

I’d be worried if I owned Devonta Freeman. Another injury has put his future in some doubt.

I’d be worried if I was ignoring the fact Wille Snead has actually been serviceable thus far.

I’d be worried if I sat too close to the snack bar wall.

I’d be worried if I wasn’t paying attention to the maturation of Mitchell Trubisky.

I’d be worried if I owned David Johnson. I could see this after a knee injury but that’s not the case.

I’d be worried if I wasn’t paying attention to the second year leap of OJ Howard.

I’d be worried if I never had a pickle popsicle.

I’d be worried if I was relying on Quincy Enunwa. That’s a tough in-season injury.

I’d be worried if I was playing against Todd Gurley. He’s a one man wrecking crew right now.

I’d be worried if I owned Dion Lewis. Again, the Titans are a mess.

I’d be worried if I didn’t think being a skate guard as a kid was just about the best job ever.

I’d be worried if I was relying on Keelan Cole. This is a buzzkill.

I’d be worried if I owned Jordan Howard. This isn’t a buzzkill…it’s panic.

I’d be worried if I owned Carlos Hyde. Nick Chubb’s time is coming.

I’d be worried if I was expecting something from Kalen Ballage any time soon.

I’d be worried if I thought Tyler Boyd’s emergence was a fluke.

I’d be worried if I ever asked me to play Achy Breaky Heart. I’ll hurt you.

I’d be worried if I had Jordan Reed.

I’d be worried if I thought Jared Cook was really going to keep up that pace.

I’d be worried if I was starting Derek Carr, even in my future bye week.

I’d be worried if I was relying on any Seattle running back.

I’d be worried if I never had the opportunity to sneak upstairs at the SkateWorld to check out the secret apartment.

I’d be worried if I was ignoring just how good Robert Woods has been for a while now.

I’d be worried if I had Amari Cooper. Wow. It’s not his fault he got hurt, but he’s the definition of inconsistency this year.

I’d be worried if I was freaking out over the lack of production of DJ Moore. It takes time.

A Look Ahead to Hot Names on the Waiver Wire

Remember, we focus on the lesser names here. There’s really no need to be telling people of your skill level to pick up players you undoubtedly have already rostered like Ito Smith. Pay close attention because we tend to be ahead of the curve. Make sure you also check out our in-depth column on the wire this week. I’m going to focus on a few players not mentioned in that column so we’re not redundant.

Chad Kelly, QB DEN

Look, I just don’t think the Case Keenum thing is going to work out. At some point, Kelly is going to get his chance.

Damion Ratley, WR CLE

The Browns are really looking for someone to step up and Antonio Callaway just hasn’t. Ratley had eight targets last week.

Raheem Mostert, RB SF

Mostert quietly took over for Alfred Morris and looks to be the second option behind Matt Breida in San Francisco.

Derek Anderson, QB BUF

I can’t imagine the Bills go back to Nathan Peterman and I believe any quarterback should be owned. Anderson has had both good and terrible moments. I expect more of both.

Kyle Lauletta, QB NYG

At some point, the Giants are going to have to see what they have in him.

Previous suggestions: Jonnu Smith, Ian Thomas, Will Dissly, Geronimo Allison, Phillip Dorsett, Phillip Lindsay, Brandon Marshall, Austin Carr, Shaun Wilson, Jakeem Grant, Corey Grant, Tyler Boyd, Taywan Taylor, Mark Walton. CJ Beathard, Rhett Ellison, Wendell Smallwood, Jeremy McNichols, Robert Turbin, David Moore, Jamaal Charles, Josh Adams, Niles Paul, Roc Thomas.

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Ken Kelly

Co-Founder at DynastyLeagueFootball

Ken is a corporate trainer by day an a tireless editor of dynasty content by night. His passion for the World Champion Seattle Seahawks is second only to his love of fantasy football and the dynasty format.

Ken is on Twitter at DLF_KenK