The Dynasty Aftermath: First Blood (not Rambo) Edition

Ken Kelly

Welcome to DLF’s Dynasty Aftermath. This staple article is our longest running signature piece as we have a little fun after a tough week at the Dynasty League Football office. You’ll find this article will review the week’s happenings in a variety of ways and help set you up for the coming weeks as we spin around the league in the way we know best. As you know, this year I’m covering movies I loved growing up and tying them into fantasy football.

As I continue through my childhood journey, I realize the 80s and 90s were full of some amazing action heroes. None of these stands out to me more than John J. Rambo and it also gives me a platform to voice my displeasure about a major misconception about the movie series.

Breathe, Ken. Just breathe (insert Luke Skywalker voice from the new Star Wars trailer).

I get pretty worked up about this and now I get the platform to tell thousands of people about something that’s been on my mind for years. The franchise is NOT the Rambo franchise – it’s the First Blood franchise. First Blood was the original film about a “drifter” who was shunned after returning from the war and picked on by a small police department. As a side note, you shouldn’t pick on John Rambo as he will most certainly make you regret it.  The next movie was Rambo: First Blood, Part II where John Rambo takes on the task of saving POWs with little more than a camera and really good abs.

This is where it gets weird.

The next movie in the franchise was somehow named Rambo III, which is legimately ridiculous. This was followed up in 2008 with Rambo, where an older John goes crazy and wipes out all kinds of people while never taking his flannel shirt off to show anyone he had spent the last 20 years drinking beer and training snakes.

I’m not going to beat a dead horse here but if anyone ever asks if you’ve seen “Rambo 1,” please set them straight – that movie doesn’t exist and the producers of the show should have never wilted under the pressure and changed the names of the movie franchise mid-stream. It’s just unfathomable to me.

In short, I have a call to action today. First Blood purists unite as I bring you the aftermath!

Week Ten Fantasy MVP

Robert Woods didn’t have a two touchdown game in his entire career and now he has back-to-back two touchdown gems, making him a must-start until further notice. The maturation of Jared Goff and the opportunistic defense of the Rams has made Woods a legitimate threat and he’s done nothing but capitalize over the past two weeks. Most expected Sammy Watkins to emerge as the dynamic weapon in the Los Angeles passing game this season. At this point, most were wrong.

Week Ten Fantasy LVP

A popular (if not THE most popular) target for contending teams, Adrian Peterson posted an absolute dud this week with just 29 rushing yards, 13 receiving yards and a lost fumble. It was so bad that Peterson became just the seventh player in league history to finish a game with more than 20 carries and fewer than 30 yards. The Cardinals are dedicating themselves to running him directly into the ground and while that’s going to make for some ugly games, Peterson should rebound for some good ones here and there as well. Still, this was really disappointing.

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Lineup Fun

John Rambo’s Unbeatable Lineup of the Week

QB Cam Newton CAR= 254 passing yards, 95 rushing yards, four touchdowns
RB Mark Ingram NO = 131 rushing yards, three touchdowns
RB DeMarco Murray TEN = 42 rushing yards, four catches, 30 receiving yards, three touchdowns
RB Alvin Kamara NO = 106 rushing yards, five receptions, 32 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Robert Woods LAR = Eight catches, 171 receiving yards, two touchdowns
WR Adam Thielen MIN = EIght catches, 166 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Devin Funchess CAR = Five catches, 92 receiving yards, two touchdowns
TE Jimmy Graham SEA = Six catches, 27 receiving yards, two touchdowns

The Russian Army Underdog Lineup of the Week

QB Case Keenum MIN = 304 passing yards, four touchdowns, two interceptions
RB Austin Ekeler LAC = 42 rushing yards, five catches, 77 receiving yards, two touchdowns
RB Kenyan Drake MIA = 82 rushing yards, two catches, ten receiving yards, one touchdown
RB Christian McCaffrey CAR = 36 rushing yards, three catches, 77 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Chester Rogers IND = Six receptions, 104 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Brandon LaFell CIN = Six receptions, 95 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Dontrelle Inman CHI = Six receptions, 88 receiving yards
TE Garrett Celek SF = Four catches, 67 receiving yards, one touchdown

The guy who played Kreese in the Karate Kid and turned on Rambo Disappointing Lineup of the Week

QB Tyrod Taylor BUF= 56 passing yards, 27 rushing yards, one interception
RB Devonta Freeman ATL = Three rushing yards
RB Aaron Jones GB = 12 rushing yards, one catch, no receiving yards
RB Adrian Peterson ARI = 29 rushing yards, one catch, 13 receiving yards
WR Marvin Jones DET = One catch, 22 receiving yards
WR Will Fuller HOU = Two catches, 15 receiving yards
WR TY Hilton IND = Two catches, 23 receiving yards
TE David Njoku CLE = One catch, three receiving yards

Gut Checks

I’d be worried if I owned Melvin Gordon. Uh oh.

I’d be worried if I was underestimating Alvin Kamara.

I’d be worried if I was expecting consistency from Jason Witten.

I’d be worried if I was being chased by Rambo in the jungle. This was like the first Hunger Games and everyone lost.

I’d be worried if I owned Andrew Luck. Make no mistake, he should be back by now.

I’d be worried if I was relying on any Denver running back.

I’d be worried if I was counting on Aaron Jones. #buzzkill

I’d be worried if I ever asked me to watch “Rambo 1.” It seriously makes me angry.

I’d be worried if I forgot about Sterling Shepard.

I’d be worried if I was still thinking Rob Kelley was a good long-term asset.

I’d be worried if I forgot about Corey Coleman.

I’d be worried if I was looking for Rambo in the woods and didn’t look for booby traps

I’d be worried if I owned Sam Bradford. It’s just sad.

I’d be worried if I thought Kenyan Drake was a must-start.

I’d be worried if I owned Doug Martin.

I’d be worried if I was counting on John Brown.

I’d be worried if I was a Sheriff in a small town that didn’t accept drifters.

I’d be worried if I owned Jordan Howard.

I’d be worried if I thought DeMarco Murray was washed up.

I’d be worried if I’m still underestimating the value of JuJu Smith-Schuster.

I’d be worried if I didn’t think Adam Thielen was a stud.

I’d be worried if I was running and Rambo had one of those explosive arrowheads.

I’d be worried if I owned CJ Prosise. Wow.

I’d be worried if I didn’t target Evan Engram this off-season.

I’d be worried if I owned Hunter Henry.

I’d be worried if I made fun of Rambo’s flannel shirt. He’s still good with a knife, guys. He’s like a war-torn lumberjack and you don’t mess with that. I’ve always had that general rule of thumb.

I’d be worried if I was playing against Jared Goff. A sentence I firmly believed I would never actually type.

I’d be worried if I didn’t believe Mark Ingram was going to have a great second half. The Saints defense is helping him immensely.

I’d be worried if I had Jordy Nelson. I know I’ve said it before but the A-Rod injury is just brutal for him.

I’d be worried if I didn’t expect a good second half of the season from Delanie Walker.

I’d be worried if I didn’t listen to Colonel Troutman. Seriously. Rambo survived on stuff that would “make a Billy Goat puke” and you did NOT learn that from watching “Rambo 1.”  It’s FIRST BLOOD.

I’d be worried if I was suddenly concerned about Leonard Fournette. It’s just one bad game.

I’d be worried if I didn’t think Dion Lewis was actually worth considering. It’s the Patriots but this is hard to ignore.

I’d be worried if I was a non-contender and I wasn’t doing everything I could to acquire injured players semi-cheaply while giving aging or producing assets to contending teams. This a great time to target players like Allen Robinson and Dalvin Cook.

A Look Ahead to Hot Names on the Waiver Wire

We’ve moved the waiver advice to its own column! Our own Jeff Haverlack featured Austin Ekeler and more in his column this week. I will say Jonathan Williams was signed by the Saints off the Broncos practice squad this week and that’s a little intriguing as a last second addition.

 

Previous suggestions: Peyton Barber, Damien Williams, Chad Kelly, Tre McBride, Chris Moore, Matt Moore, Deonte Thompson, AJ Derby, Brett Hundley, CJ Beathard, Dion Lewis, Bennie Fowler, Roger Lewis, Nick O’Leary, Kevin Hogan, Ricardo Louis, Bryce Treggs, Brice Butler, EJ Manuel, Aaron Jones, Eddie Lacy, Thomas Rawls, JD McKissic, Tyler Kroft, Tyler Higbee, “Smasher” from Over the Top, Jesse James, Mike Tolbert, Kerwynn Williams, Andre Ellington, Orleans Darkwa, Buck Allen, Tommylee Lewis, Markus Wheaton, Geronimo Allison, Keelan Cole, Mack Brown, Malcolm Brown, Alex Collins, Corey Clement, Elijah McGuire, Ryan Griffin, Devin Funchess

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