The Dynasty Aftermath: All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy

Ken Kelly

Welcome to DLF’s Dynasty Aftermath. This staple article is our longest running signature piece as we have a little fun after a tough week at the Dynasty League Football office. You’ll find this article will review the week’s happenings in a variety of ways and help set you up for the coming weeks as we spin around the league in the way we know best.

As you know by now, I’m using this column this year to share all the movies I loved as a child. This week, we take a look at Stanley Kubrick’s tale of love and redemption known as The Shining.  I love comedies, action and Sci-Fi movies the best and hate horror movies the most. In fact, when I think of horror movies I watch, I tend to remember them a bit differently so I don’t have trouble sleeping at night.

The Shining is a nice little family movie about Jack Torrance (played by a super funny Jack Nicholson) who takes over an unoccupied hotel over the Winter with his family. They subsequently get snowed in and hilarious hijinks ensue. His son Danny has great times riding his big wheel around the hotel and even creates some make believe friends along the way. His wife, Wendy, also has a great role as the glue that holds the family together. If you love games of hide and seek, adventurous mazes in the snow, Tonight Show references,  new and exciting friendships and all around fun, this movie is for you. Just watch below and you’ll see the movie is just as I remembered it!

In honor of this side-splitting family fun night staple, I bring you this week’s aftermath.*

Week Five Fantasy MVP

Melvin Gordon was off to a bit of a slow start this year, failing to eclipse 100 yards rushing in any game. The rough patch disappeared this week after he posted 105 yards rushing and added six catches for 58 yards and two touchdowns in a win against the lowly Giants. Gordon should be locked and loaded in your starting lineup and is one of the few true bell cow backs we have in fantasy and reality.

Week Five Fantasy LVP

What is going on with Sammy Watkins? He had seemingly broken out with a six-catch, 106-yard, two touchdown effort in week three. Unfortunately, he’s had a total of one catch for 17 yards since.  In fact, he has eight catches for 105 yards in the four games outside of that week three effort. It’s clear the Rams are having a hard time figuring out how to use him and it has to be supremely frustrating to dynasty owners who thought all he had to do was stay healthy to produce.

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Lineup Fun

The Overlook Hotel Class Reunion’s Unbeatable Lineup of the Week

QB Deshaun Watson HOU = 261 passing yards, 31 rushing yards, five touchdowns
RB Melvin Gordon LAC = 105 rushing yards, six catches, 58 receiving yards, two touchdowns
RB Leonard Fournette JAX = 181 rushing yards, two touchdowns
RB Le’Veon Bell PIT = 47 rushing yards, ten receptions, 46 receiving yards
WR AJ Green CIN = Seven catches, 189 receiving yards, one touchdown
WR DeAndre Hopkins HOU = Four catches, 52 receiving yards, three touchdowns
WR Antonio Brown PIT = Ten catches, 157 receiving yards
TE Zach Ertz PHI = Six catches, 61 receiving yards, one touchdown

The Danny Torrance Underdog Lineup of the Week

QB Kevin Hogan CLE = 194 passing yards, 30 rushing yards, two touchdowns, one interception
RB Aaron Jones GB = 125 rushing yards, one reception, nine receiving yards, one touchdown
RB Duke Johnson CLE = 20 rushing yards, three catches, 63 receiving yards, one touchdown
RB Marlon Mack IND = 91 rushing yards, one reception, two receiving yards, one touchdown
WR Marquise Goodwin SF = Five receptions, 116 receiving yards
WR Mike Wallace BAL = Three receptions, 133 receiving yards
WR Brandon Tate BUF = Two receptions, 25 receiving yards, one touchdown
TE Ed Dickson CAR = Five catches, 175 receiving yards

The Jack Torrance Book Effort’s Disappointing Lineup of the Week

QB Ben Roethlisberger PIT = 312 passing yards, five interceptions
RB Carlos Hyde SF = 11 rushing yards, one catch, seven receiving yards
RB Derrick Henry TEN = Seven rushing yards
RB Todd Gurley LAR = 43 rushing yards, two catches, seven receiving yards
WR Stefon Diggs MIN = One catch, four receiving yards
WR DeVante Parker MIA = One catch, six receiving yards
WR Sammy Watkins LAR =
No catches
TE Eric Ebron DET = One catch, six receiving yards

Gut Checks

I’d be worried if I owned Ben Roethlisberger. I’m fine with him having a bad game. Not so fine with him showing little enthusiasm for the season.

I’d be worried if I owned Carlos Hyde. He was looking great early on this season and now we have another time share, this time with Matt Breida? Is it the Shanahans role in life to ruin fantasy football? I’m starting to believe it is.

I’d be worried if I had Sammy Watkins. This is getting out of hand.

I’d be worried if I took over a hotel where someone had done something horrifying the year before.

I’d be worried if I owned DeShone Kizer. Is this not just classic Browns? Let’s throw a quarterback in before he’s ready, then sacrifice his confidence by benching him, even though we’re a winless team with little hope. It’s like Groundhog Day. I get Hue Jackson wanting to save his job but you’d think this franchise would learn at some point.

I’d be worried if I owned Odell Beckham. He still has a great career ahead of him but this injury is going to drop his value a few spots.

I’d be worried if I saw identical twins in a hotel hallway when riding my big wheel.

I’d be worried if I owned JJ Watt in an IDP league. The injuries are mounting for one of the most likeable players in recent memory.

I’d be worried if I owned DeVante Parker. It’s a minor ankle issue with him, but haven’t we seen enough “questionable” tags to last a while here.

I’d be worried if I my kids started writing words backwards on doors. Double worried if it’s in blood.

I’d be worried if I wasn’t really gauging the interest in Will Fuller if I owned him. If you don’t believe in his hot streak and health, there may be no better time to move him than now.

I’d be worried if I owned Breshad Perriman. It’s just not working out.

I’d be worried if I found my spouse was writing a book that just re-used the same sentence over and over.

I’d be worried if I owned Brandon Marshall. This could be the end of the road.

I’d be worried if I spent all my free agent money on Latavius Murray.

I’d be worried if I wasn’t putting Chris Hogan in my lineup.

I’d be worried if I entered a hotel party and found everyone else looked like they were from a different era.

I’d be worried if I thought Cameron Brate was just going to go away.

I’d be worried if I didn’t believe Austin Seferian-Jenkins had streaming appeal.

I’d be worried if I was all of a sudden thinking Devin Funchess was a good play.  We need to see more.

I’d be worried if I had Frank Gore. This Marlon Mack fella can play.

I’d be worried if I didn’t pay close attention to my footprints in a snowy hedge maze.

I’d be worried if I was playing Derrick Henry. Sigh. Looks like we need to wait longer.

I’d be worried if I was relying on any Miami player.

I’d be worried if I was playing against Carson Wentz.

I’d be worried if I was relying on any Seahawk running back at the moment.

I’d be worried if my family games of hide and seek involved knives and axes.

I’d be worried if I thought the Rams were going to somehow go away.

I’d be worried if I owned Ty Montgomery or Jamaal Williams. This Aaron Jones kid can play, too.

I’d be worried if I owned Marshawn Lynch. I’m wrong a lot but I had a feeling this was going to happen.

I’d be worried if I didn’t think Alex Smith didn’t belong in my starting lineup.

I’d be worried if I didn’t believe Jack Nicholson was one of the greatest actors of all-time.

I’d be worried if I had any Bears player. This offense isn’t good and they’re going to see some stacked boxes.

I’d be worried if I’m still not believing in Deshaun Watson.

A Look Ahead to Hot Names on the Waiver Wire

Remember, we focus on the lesser names here. There’s really no need to be telling people of your skill level to pick up players you undoubtedly have like Tarik Cohen, Marlon Mack, Allen Hurns, Wayne Gallman or Kenny Golladay already rostered.  Pay close attention because we tend to be ahead of the curve. Remember also that you need to have space for deep projects – don’t start dropping known commodities. I’m assuming Matt Breida and Jerick McKinnon are owned in your league as well.

1.) Roger Lewis, WR NYG

Someone has to catch the ball for the Giants.

2.) Nick O’Leary, TE BUF

With Charles Clay on the shelf (another worry), O’Leary could have sneaky value.

3.) Kevin Hogan, QB CLE

Sigh.

4.) Ricardo Louis and Bryce Treggs, WRs CLE

The Browns are as desperate as the Giants are for pass catchers.

5.) Brice Butler, WR DAL

I just have this feeling he’s going to be more involved soon.

Previous suggestions: EJ Manuel, Aaron Jones, Eddie Lacy,Thomas Rawls, JD McKissic, Tyler Kroft, Tyler Higbee, “Smasher” from Over the Top, Jesse James, Mike Tolbert, Kerwynn Williams, Andre Ellington, Orleans Darkwa, Buck Allen, Tommylee Lewis, Markus Wheaton. Geronimo Allison, Keelan Cole, Mack Brown, Malcolm Brown, Alex Collins, Corey Clement, Elijah McGuire, Ryan Griffin, Devin Funchess

* = For the love of all that’s holy, please make sure you look this movie up before showing your kids.

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ken kelly