The 2013 Stewie Awards

Eric Olinger

stewart

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the second annual “Stewie Awards.” If you’re unfamiliar with The Stewies, we honor (or rub salt in the wound of) the biggest disappointment at each position from the fantasy season. It doesn’t go to the player with the worst statistics, but the player who failed to live up to preseason expectations the most. Our ceremony is named after never ending disappointment Jonathan Stewart, who kept his disappointing streak alive this season.

Let’s get the show started!

Our first category of the night is ”Biggest Disappointment by a Quarterback.” The nominees are: 

Matt Ryan: 4,515 yards, 26 touchdowns, 17 interceptions and four fumbles lost.
Tom Brady: 4,343 yards, 25 touchdowns and 11 interceptions.
Eli Manning: 3,818 yards, 18 touchdowns and a league leading 27 interceptions.
Mike Vick: 1,215 yards, five touchdowns, three interceptions, 295 rushing yards, two touchdowns and two fumbles lost in five games.
Joe Flacco: 3,912 yards, 19 touchdowns and 22 interceptions.

Here to present the award is last year’s winner, Jay Cutler. “Sup. I’m Jay Cutler and…whatever. This year’s winner is, hold my cigs, darlin.’ Sorry about that, this year’s winner is… Mike Vick.”

With Chip Kelly in town and bringing his high octane offense to Sunday afternoons, expectations were sky high for Mike Vick. It appeared this offense was tailor fit for his skill set. Through the first three weeks of the season, he was producing as such. In week two he threw for 428 yards and two touchdowns while adding 23 rushing yards and another score without turning the ball over. By week four though, the magic had worn off and the offense became stagnant. Shortly after that, the injury bug popped up and Vick couldn’t keep his hamstrings healthy. Once Nick Foles got into the starting lineup and hit his stride, the season was over for Vick. Foles went on to lead the league in quarterback rating and an incredible 27 touchdowns to just two interceptions.

Our next category is “Biggest Disappointment by a Running back.” The nominees are:

Ray Rice: 660 rushing yards, four touchdowns, 58 receptions, 321 receiving yards, no touchdowns and two fumbles lost.
C.J. Spiller: 927 rushing yards, two touchdowns, 34 receptions, 197 yards receiving, no touchdowns and one fumble lost.
Trent Richardson: 563 rushing yards, three touchdowns, 35 receptions, 316 receiving yards, one touchdown and one fumble lost.
Maurice Jones-Drew: 803 rushing yards, five touchdowns, 43 receptions, 314 receiving yards, no touchdowns and one fumble lost.
Ben Tate: 771 rushing yards, four touchdowns, 34 receptions, 140 receiving yards, no touchdowns and two fumbles lost.

Presenting this year’s award is last year’s winner, Jonath… oops! Sorry about that, force of habit. Please welcome last year’s winner from the San Diego Chargers, Ryan Mathews. “Good evening. I’d like to start by saying Thank you to the people who believed in me this year. I feel I was able to go out and get the monkey off my back and earn the respect and trust of fantasy GMs everywhere. To the rest of you bustas, I hope you played against me and lost your league. Now, back to the awards, this year’s Stewie winner for “Most Disappointing Running back” is… Trent Richardson.” Trent is not with us tonight. Accepting the award on his behalf is Donald Brown, who receives all the important touches.

There really wasn’t anyone close to Trent Richardson for biggest disappointment by a running back. The signs were there last year, but his 12 total touchdowns masked his inefficiencies. By merely nominating him for this award last year, I was raked over the coals and called a fool, among other much meaner things. Touchdowns are an incredibly difficult stat to predict and his running style rarely gets more than is blocked for him. Coming into this year he was being touted as the number one dynasty running back by most people, but not me. There were just too many warning signs. Then something crazy happened, after week two the Browns traded him to the Colts for a first round draft pick in 2014. With an elite young quarterback and more complete team than the one he was leaving, there was legitimate reason for optimism. He scored in his first two games as a Colt but was non-existent in the passing game. It wasn’t until after the Colts’ bye week he was trusted to play on passing downs. He collected 26 of his 35 receptions after the bye, but failed to get double digit carries or 25+ rushing yards in seven of the nine games and scored only once…in week 17. For a player who was healthy the entire season, this was as embarrassing of a season as any I can remember.

Alright, no shock there. Our next award of the night is for “Biggest Disappointment by a Wide Receiver.” The nominees are:

Dwayne Bowe: 57 receptions, 672 yards and five touchdowns
Danny Amendola: 54 receptions, 633 yards and two touchdowns
Hakeem Nicks: 56 receptions, 896 yards and zero touchdowns
Tavon Austin: 40 receptions, 418 yards, four touchdowns, nine carries for 151 rushing yards and one touchdown.
Justin Blackmon: 29 receptions, 415 yards and one touchdown in four games.

Coming to the stage to present this year’s award is last year’s winner, Larry Fitzgerald. “I cannot wait to hand this award to this year’s recipient. Being called a disappointment fueled me to perform up to the lofty expectations I set for myself. Now, for this year’s winner…Justin Blackmon. Justin cannot be here tonight due to his year long suspension.”

This one was tough. Bowe was invisible the first half of the season, but turned it on some in the second half. Amendola was the same ol’ Amendola as he couldn’t stay healthy. Nicks looks like he aged ten years overnight and somehow failed to score a single touchdown. Austin had unrealistic expectations coming into the season for a rookie, but flashed the game changing ability we all knew he had. Blackmon is a product of his own making. He has the raw talent to be a top six wide receiver in the league, but has the maturity and professionalism of Lindsey Lohan. After we patiently waited for him to finish his four game suspension to start the season, he only played four games before being handed a year long ban. The four games he played in, he was awesome, but the guy has legitimate personal demons he has to exercise before he’ll ever be able to get his career on track. Due to his initial suspension he was being drafted as a WR3 with WR1 potential, so owners weren’t burnt too badly, but seeing his week six game against the Broncos (14 receptions for 190 yards) got everyone’s hopes up. He truly is a disappointment. Hopefully he can get it together like Dez Bryant and not further spiral out of control like Titus Young.

Our final offensive award of the night goes to the “Biggest Disappointment by a Tight End.” The nominees are:

Jared Cook: 51 receptions for 671 yards and five touchdowns
Heath Miller: 58 receptions for 593 yards and one touchdown
Coby Fleener: 52 receptions for 608 yards and four touchdowns
Brandon Pettigrew: 41 receptions for 416 yards and two touchdowns
Robert Housler: 39 receptions for 454 yards and one touchdown

To give out this year’s award, please welcome last year’s winner who has finally quit crying, Vernon Davis, to the stage. “I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry… fight it Vernon… fight it! Ok, this year’s winner is… Jared Cook.” (Davis bursts into tears yet again as he exits the stage)

If Jared Cook has a nickname, he needs to ditch it for “The Tease.” Prior to this year, we blamed the Titans coaching staff for wasting the talent of Cook. In week one, he blew up for seven catches for 141 yards and two touchdowns and owners rejoiced, “FINALLY!” Well, not so fast. He would only score three more touchdowns all year and would only top 50 yards once. He completely disappeared like he did in Tennessee. He had an opportunity to thrust himself into TE1 territory this season and didn’t do it. Expectations have changed for him.

Awards given out earlier tonight:

Biggest Disappointment by a Defensive Lineman”Cameron Wake, DE MIA

Coming off a very impressive 14.5 sack season in 2012, Wake was expected to keep it up in 2013. The Dolphins drafted Dion Jordan to add to Olivier Vernon opposite Wake, but Vernon ended up being the IDP to own out of this group. Obviously, Wake drew most of the attention and registered 8.5 sacks on the season, but 5.5 came in two games. Anything less than double digit sacks in a mostly healthy season (he did miss one game and most of another) has to be considered a disappointment.

“Biggest Disappointment by a Linebacker”Bruce Carter, WLB DAL

With defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin bringing his Tampa-2 defense to Dallas, many expected Carter to become Kiffin’s new Derrick Brooks. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Carter played so lost, he was actually benched for a two game stretch and struggled to regain his role on passing downs. I was all over Carter entering this season. I was drinking the Kool-Aid, but depending on what happens with Kiffin and the Cowboys’ coaching staff, I’m concerned with Carter’s growing potential moving forward, although he’s still very young and has time on his side.

I hope you enjoyed this year’s “Stewie Awards” and I hope you weren’t stuck holding too many of these disappointments on your dynasty teams. Feel free to share your biggest disappointments in the comments section below. Who did you have high hopes for in 2013 only to be let down?

eric olinger
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